Crime and Punishment

Dostoyevsky’s Milieu



A few weeks ago a couple of shoplifters in Alabama were forced to carry out their sentences of wearing sandwich-board signs for four hours on successive Saturdays outside of the store they tried to steal from bearing the message ‘I Am A Thief’. Some onlookers were heard to say that this punishment was ‘cruel’. Now, silly me, but one of the thieves was a 46-year-old woman who carried out the sentence to avoid a prison stint. Most notably, though, she was 46 years old!!! What the hell did she think should happen, and what of that bystander declaring the punishment cruel? One would think that by the age of 46 most reasonable people would have figured out that stealing is wrong and that doing so will result in what we in the thinking sector of the world like to call consequences. And, on the latter, what exactly should punishment be?

These days kids, it seems that the punishment doesn’t always fit the crime, does it? I’ve seen stories on news programs that would make your skin crawl and more often than not, the culprit lives his or her days out in a maximum security prison camp, with three squares a day and while either earning their degree or signing a lucrative book deal with some shyster trying to capitalize on the deaths of innocents.

I’ve got my own take, go figure, on just how fitting a punishment should be. First, I suppose, we should clarify the meanings of both crime and punishment. According to Wikipedia, a crime is an act that violates a political, religious, or moral command considered important in protecting the interests of the State or the welfare of its citizens or subjects. Punishment is the practice of imposing something unpleasant or aversive on a person or animal in response to an unwanted or disobedient behavior.

So if we follow the accepted definition of punishment, its supposed to be unpleasant and since some of these bastards barely rise far enough above the food chain in many instances to qualify as a person I think it should be equitable to the amount of suffering imposed on their victims. An example of this would be that if some piece of shit rapes and desecrates a young woman or worse a child, I’m thinking that the punishment would involve razor blades, salt and this scumbag’s penis, be creative.

So while We are painting ourselves into the proverbial corner with our humanity and civilized behavior. Punishment should not be as civilized as, more often than not, the crime for which the punishment is designed. And unfortunately the criminals we’re dealing with these days don’t follow any of the rules either of civility or of humanity.

We’ve created exuses for their behavior with the endless psychobabble spewed forth from the mouths of well-meaning psychiatrists and trying too hard to understand that for which there is no explanation. If some nutsack goes into a house and kills everyone that’s there, we give them an out with ‘The abuse this person suffered in their childhood has facilitated a behavior that is in direct contrast with what is considered acceptable to general societal norms’. We then send them to a psychiatric ward where they are given optimal care and then released when they are found to be ‘cured’ only to be surprised and appalled when they repeat the same offense for which they were originally incarcerated. Must have slipped back into lunacy.

I hearken back to the days of posses and frontier justice, well, maybe not that far back. Somewhere there is a happy medium between what should be considered equitable and what should be considered cruel and unusual, cruel anyway. The judge that sentenced shoplifters to what can readily be called unusual but that could surely be considered equitable.

Earlier on I alluded to stories that would make your skin crawl; one such story goes as such:

A man kidnapped a young girl and held her in a remote location for several days, repeatedly raping her and forcing her to perform certain acts on him. When he had his fill, he killed her with his bare hands, drenched her in gasoline and set her demeaned and lifeless corpse on fire in a banal attempt to conceal the evidence. As I recall, the man was eventually captured and was given the death penalty. Death, was too civilized a punishment.

With a little imagination and a little less civility, I’m pretty sure I could have come up with something a bit more fitting.

His Royal Highness--King Todd

The following is a letter I wrote in to a large metropolitan newspaper last week but that was not published, there are similarities to an editorial in said newspaper published today that are eerily familiar though, hmmmm . . .

It’s Not Easy Being King


Poor, poor President Stroger, the lesser. He’s had a tough road lately. Ever since taking the trouble to wrangle the nomination for County Board President from those more qualified he has had a tough road to hoe. He’s had to ensure that all of his family and friends have high paying County jobs. He’s had to begin the biggest layoff that the County has seen in more than 20 years. He’s had to give up his elevator and he’s had to answer for his actions. And now he’s trying to downplay the importance of the mess over at the hospital that was named for his father. It must be bad enough skating into a position that shouldn’t have been yours to begin with, but then being expected to clarify the reasons for your actions, well, that must be unbearable.

It’s a funny thing when you decide you want to be in charge of a government system whose budget is larger than the budget of many Fortune 500 companies, you become what we in the rest of the world like to call accountable. And to blame the press for your own inadequacy, well that’s just silly. Some of us take exception as well with the insults handed out to both the press and the commissioners. It is the job of the press, nay their responsibility, to scrutinize our public officials. And to imply that the commissioners lack the ability to think for themselves, well that’s just the inane rumblings of the disenchanted.

I’m going to try to make this as easy to understand as possible Mr. President. We have what is called a system of checks and balances in government here in the United States. The framers of the Constitution, that means the guys who wrote and planned our government, decided that it would not be a good idea to not give too much power to any one branch of the government. Many local governments agreed and put similar systems in place. That way, if say the president decided he wanted to spend a bunch of money that belonged to the people without telling anyone, another branch would question him and ensure thereby that said government remained a democracy instead of a autocracy.

Stop whining chief. No one is making your job hard but you. You got yourself elected, something we’re all still trying to figure out. You made back room deals to get your budget passed, again something we’re all still trying to figure out. For some reason we still haven’t seen this mystery budget that is paid for by the taxpayers of Cook County for their benefit, not yours. At this point it would seem to the general public that nearly everyone in your family and personal circle has a great job within the County, quite frankly we wouldn’t be surprised to find out that you have a four-year-old niece in charge of the County day care system at $85,000 a year.

Sorry but you don’t get to complain about being scrutinized, it comes with the territory and you volunteered for this particular assignment. Now I don’t fault you for taking advantage of one of the last refuges for nepotism in the free world because it’s not just you taking from the kitty, but the time has come to pony up and take some responsibility for your own actions. Nobody ever said it was easy being king, but it’s a hell of a lot harder when you realize that your subjects are willing to take exception with the way you rule. So don’t fret too much because from here on out, it’s only going to get harder.

Charity Begins at Home

Darfur, is that near Cleveland?

Once again the Hollywood community has chosen its cause of the week and this week’s winner is Darfur, which I believe is somewhere near Cleveland. Now before we all get testy let’s be sure to clarify that Hollywood does do a lot of charity work. Following the 9/11 terrorist attacks, that community stepped up and raised a lot of money for the victims and families of those injured or killed. After Hurricane Katrina ravaged the Gulf coast, again Hollywood stepped up and raised money for those devastated by nature’s fury. And, when the list of b-list actors and has-beens grew too large, they created Dancing with the Stars and Celebrity Fit Club so these folks would have an outlet for their talents.

So now we are to send our overtaxed, hard earned dollars to the Darfur region that is experiencing atrocities unmentioned. I’m taking this as an affirmation that there are no more problems facing the people of the United States. Apparently there are no more children here who go to bed hungry. I’m assuming that every citizen has health insurance. I surmise that the homeless all found homes, all domestic diseases have been cured and that each of us has a full tank of gas.

Millions of dollars were raised last week when a benefit for the region of Darfur was held last week in Chicago by the new ‘brat pack’. Fat cats happily shelled out hundreds of thousands for a chance to view a movie and have a ‘meet and greet’ with the stars of Oceans Thirteen. Now, from the viewpoint of a middle-class Midwestern boy this is tantamount to holding a benefit for hair plugs for singer/actresses that decide to shave their heads in a moment of supreme drug or alcohol induced idiocy.

I don’t mean to seem insensitive and I’m sure that the problems facing this region are indeed staggering, to say the least, but the fact is that the affluent and infamous of American society, who get affluent and infamous wholly, if not completely, on American dollars, always seem to find causes outside the United States to devote their time and efforts to. And while they do, they continue to collect exorbitant amounts of American money for dressing up and pretending to be someone they’re not or by stripping the public of their money and dignity.

Last time I checked a random microcosm of American society did not closely resemble fuckin’ Mayberry, the greatest threat to our safety was not a drunk named Otis, and we did not all have an Aunt Bee sending us a gingham lined picnic basket full of fried chicken and homemade Apple Pie for our lunches while we sat around our offices with the Bass family singing and strumming our guitars. We have crime and disease and poverty and politicians; all indicators that we still have our own problems to deal with.

So while Hollywood sits around this week and takes a vote on which cause they want to focus on next week, let’s all remember that charity begins at home. We still have people living in the streets, we still have people dying without proper healthcare, and now we have people standing on busy corners holding signs that read, “WILL WORK FOR GAS MONEY”. Until that day comes that there is indeed a chicken in every pot here in the USA, let’s focus on causes at home rather than abroad. Or then again maybe I am wrong and Darfur really is near Cleveland.

Shaking The Foundations

The Year of Living Seriously (Shaking the Foundations) --- Part Three of a Series


There was a wonderful scene in the film National Treasure, a goofy but fun movie, in which Nicholas Cage is clarifying a beautiful passage from the Declaration of Independence. The passage reads:

“But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same object
evinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism, it is their right, it is their duty,
to throw off such government, and to provide new guards for their future security.”

He follows reading this section by observing that people don’t speak like that anymore and then clarifying its meaning by saying “If there’s something wrong, those who have the ability to take action have the responsibility to take action”. Not only do people not speak that way anymore, they don’t think that way either. There is a fear of offending others that denies any notion an individual may have of exploring an original or subversive thought these days. Subversion and divisiveness are the very basis upon which this country was founded and when we abandon these we are not only turning our backs on our past, we are also denying any semblance of a future we could have. Our foundations need a little shaking sometimes, it keeps our leaders honest.

When a disc jockey or a pundit or a sarcastic blogger are chastised for displaying his or her own interpretation of a particular event, we should be outraged. As a community, the United States have become so ultrasensitive that it would not surprise me that an insult levied against your next-door neighbor would be felt by their grandchildren’s grandchildren, and that they would take the same offense to it as on the day it was hurled. Individual interpretations should be fine; they should be commended as a matter of fact but they should never be construed as a personal affront.

If something is wrong, then by all means attack that wrong with the very fabric of your being, but for god’s sake let’s stop with attacking every possible thing that can be interpreted as a wrong because in perspective, anything can be interpreted to suit an individual’s taste. Shock jocks are supposed to shock us, especially by their words, but sometimes even with their actions. Laugh it off kids. Life is too freakin’ short to spend it seeking retribution for something that was intended as a joke. And hey, by the very act of attacking a wrong publicly, you not only give the transgression more publicity, you give it more credibility.

Save your energy for the greater wrongs being levied against humanity; the war in Iraq, the gasoline crisis, and those wacky outfits that models wear in fashion shows. We need a return to those days when complacency meant that you didn’t care and before it meant that you were an acceptable and productive member of society; then and only then can we get back to more important matters than offensive or suggestive language on our airwaves. Because although we are all entitled to our opinion; we have a greater responsibility to accept the opinions of others.





Pizza Recipe:
http://www.dailysouthtown.com/lifestyles/382124,141LIF4.article

Skewing Ourselves

The Year of Living Seriously ( Skewing Ourselves ) --- Part Two of a Series

When did we lose the ability to laugh at ourselves? I’m guessing it was sometime close to when the term politically correct came into our vocabulary. That was it kids, the beginning of the end. All of a sudden we had to watch what we said and did because even the most innocent of comments or the most innocent of gestures could be skewed to fit our individual biases. Concessions, these days, to special interests are made so fast that Linda Blair couldn’t follow it even if her head really could do a 360.

In the meanwhile the status quo is left to surmise just how it was that they became the second-class citizens and the first generation immigrants all of a sudden got all of the perks. Now what, you may ask, does all of this have to do with naughty boys on the radio and thinking for ourselves? Well, I’m a gonna tell ya.

They are all symptoms of the same disease, and that disease is complacency. That’s right complacency, with a capital C and that rhymes with D and that stands for disease!! We’ve grown so complacent in our thinking that we have failed to realize that said complacency will lead to our downfall. In other words kids, we’re skewing ourselves into nonexistence. Yes skewing, not screwing.

We’re skewed so far to the left and skewed so far to the right that the common ground has been left for sarcastic bloggers, shock jocks, philosophers and poets and let’s face it folks, no one listens to them. The general population is taught to not speak out against anyone who could find your words offensive. We teach our kids to follow the golden rule, which is indeed a good rule, but leave the alternatives buried in ambiguity. We’ve become such a nation of babies that we’ve forgotten the addendum to the golden rule: Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me, unless you let them.

Well guess what kids, I’m here to tell you, I speak out but I expect that some will not agree with me and I expect them to speak out against me as well. I can dish and I can take. I sling the mud and relish the day that I will myself be caked in wet dirt, ‘cause I like being a dirty boy. The best part about it all, though, is that even when covered with mud, one still possesses the ability to wash it off and start anew.

We are all entitled to our opinion. We are entitled to like weird stuff, just look at the Trekkies and the freaks that line up at Star Wars conventions and tell me I’m wrong. We are entitled to scrutinize those in power because no one is above scrutiny. We are all entitled to say what the hell we want and we are all entitled to face the consequences, which should never exceed a counter slinging of verbal abuse. As Americans we are entitled!

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, irreverence and audacity are necessary parts to a happy but flawed existence. What the fuck does that mean, you may say. Well, speak out if something doesn’t seem right but don’t do so at the cost of someone else’s right to do the same. In other words, grow a set and say what you’re thinking kids, ideas lead directly to change and change, generally speaking, is a good thing. It is what brought us to be, to exist and to create this crazy but beautiful thing we call the USA.

*to be continued

Naughty Boys

The Year of Living Seriously (Naughty Boys) --- Part One of a Series

*the following is the beginning of a series that will more than likely go at least three days . . . see what happens when you have a week to think about something

Hi kids! Just so you know, per the current social climate, freedom of thought is currently still allowed but freedom of expression is dead. In other words think what you will, just don’t tell anyone. You think I’m kidding but it’s true, just ask Opie and Anthony. These two are a couple of shock jocks (to clarify a shock jock is one who is supposed to, by definition, SHOCK us) that were recently suspended for discussing sexual fantasies about Condi Rice, Laura Bush and Queen Elizabeth.

I can’t say for sure but I’m relatively certain that this is, in some small part, fallout following the whole Don Imus controversy last month. Don Imus, as you remember, was fired for derogatory comments he made on Al Sharpton’s radio show. Now I did hear Imus’ comment but I never heard the comments made by these two. I am, however, rather certain as well, that this was not the first time that either Imus or Opie and Anthony either behaved in this manner or made remarks of this nature. Truth be told, these statements were intended to shock as well as amuse their audience and, as this is part of the job description, it should not have come as any surprise.

The big problem is that the environment has changed, we are living way too seriously lately. We're afraid to offend, we're afraid to respond, and we're afraid to speak our minds. So here’s some warnings to those out there who have the chutzpah to think for yourselves:

1. You can think whatever you wish but please refrain from verbalizing or sharing your thoughts in any way with anyone that may be offended. So if you, for example, are wrestling in your mind with the notion that there seems to be a lack of parity in the fact that it is racist to preclude young women of color participation in the Miss America pageant but that it is not racist to preclude young Caucasian women participation in the Miss Black America pageant . . . Please!! Keep it to yourself!

2. Thoughts lead to ideas, ideas lead to plans, plans lead to actions and actions lead to change. Those in power don’t want you to think, it may lead you to recognize the fact that you have more power than they do and they certainly don’t want you to recognize that.


3. Leaders of industry are consistently hypocritical. They like to hire people that are on the cutting edge, act in a creative manner or have original thoughts and then, they fire those same people for those same reasons. They’re kind of like those pro-lifers who cherish life above all else and then go and shoot living, breathing physicians under the premise of saving life.

The execs at CBS and XM radio have chosen, rather than grow a set of balls, to make a rather shortsighted attempt at growing a conscience. The problem is that they are chastising the talent that they hired to stir the proverbial pot for, well, stirring the proverbial pot. I’m ninety-nine percent sure that when the revenue is flowing freely they wouldn’t give a shit if these guys mentioned on air that the CEO of their company had fantasies about screwing a sheep named Glinda while wearing a diamond studded g-string (not that I have any conclusive proof that any particular CEO does or does not have this fantasy).

Has it really gotten to the point that comedians, disc jockeys and sarcastic pricks, present company included, are no longer allowed to make fun of us all without fearing some recourse. How freaking sensitive have we become?

( . . . to be continued )

Latest Notes from the Front

Note # 1 -- Since the previous article was written Andre Garner has begun speaking to the media. In his latest release he announced that Rupert Graham was the new big shot in the County Highway Department. Trouble was that he hadn't even been considered let alone approved by the Board. Way to kick ass Andre!! That Junior sure knows how to pick the ultra qualified!!

Note # 2 -- Junior was beaming on Tuesday when a special portrait of his father, the real President Stroger, was unveiled at the County Building last Tuesday. He even went as far as to say about his father "He believed you are here to help people, and if you're not doing that you're not doing anything" according to a story in the Sun Times. Nothing like qualifying your inability to embody good intentions.

Note # 3 -- a reported 50+ people were given their walking papers on Wednesday at Oak Forest Hospital. Does that qualify as helping people?

Note # 4 -- Commissioner Quigler said he was duped into voting to support Stoger's massive cuts in Todd's proposed budget. I'm trying not to laugh out loud right now!

Blood From A Stone

The lesser Stroger has necessitated my once again addressing the mess over at Cook County. I had originally intended to address the mess over at XM radio and the lack of a 'set' by those in charge as well as their inadequacies at comprehending that wacky freedom of speech thing we have here in the USA but young Toddy keeps continuing to prove me right.

*this article was originally submitted to a local paper a couple of weeks ago but was never published


Blood from a Stone


You’ve got to hand it to the current Cook County administration. While wrangling was no doubt being done last week to facilitate the confirmation of the friends and relatives to high ranking government positions, the non union personnel of Cook County were being informed that they were required to take 10 furlough days (10 days off without pay) before the end of fiscal year, many of which who don’t even make a half or even a third of what these officials will be making.

According to an article in the Chicago Tribune on May 3, Jerry Butler stated that the controversy surrounding these approvals is “about some folks who would do anything to bring down this administration” . Isn’t this administration doing enough to bring itself down?

I personally have been given a ‘pink slip’, had it rescinded, and am patiently waiting being informed as to when I will be permanently let go. This administration is in the process of removing patients, the innocent victims in this ploy, from the only home they have known, some for as much as twenty years. They are laying off employees on a weekly basis. They haven’t given non-union personnel raises in over three years, and they want us to take two weeks off without pay? Yes, it’s definitely someone else trying to bring this administration down.

Donna Dunnings said she would not take a pay increase because of the difficult financial situation being faced by the county right now. I guess $10,000 a year is no big shakes to someone already making $142,000. Well kudos to her! Perhaps we should give her a medal for not taking a pay raise while the administration is kicking patients out of their homes and destroying the lives of many loyal employees or perhaps we should just, to quote Ms. Dunnings, “get a life”.

Those who confirmed her selection to the post of chief financial officer must have forgotten that she has been in a position for the last eight years to make a difference in this difficult financial situation. The county is in dire circumstances due to the mismanagement of finances, and now she’s being rewarded. In the meantime, and as it always is, it’s the little guy, the folks that really make the county what it is, that are paying the price. It’s even being implied that if these folks don’t use up all of their furlough days by the time they are dismissed that they will be docked the remaining days on their final paycheck.

Well, and I know I don’t speak for all of us getting the eventual boot, I’m relatively certain that we’ve had enough of this mess we’ll be facing for three more years, not to mention the cleanup that will take place after they’re defeated in the next election. I’ve accepted the fact that my days here, after nearly 18 years, are numbered which at this point is fine because I’m not so sure that I want to be a part of something that has become so willing to deny basic services to those who facilitate its existence. I’ve resolved myself to the fact that young Mr. Stroger is going to do what young Mr. Stroger wants to do. I’ve even accepted the fact that politicians lie to get what they want and then, once they get it change the rules. I will not, however, willingly give any more blood to an administration that is sucking the life out of a system that is supposed to serve the residents rather than the administration. No offense to Mr. Stroger or Dr. Simon but ya know what boys, I already gave at the office.


special note--I've recently been told that a certain well-connected administrator at my current place of employment strongly disliked an article of mine that was published in a newspaper a few months back. Maybe it's because he's feeling guilty about being handed cushy triple figure jobs all of his life or maybe not. Whichever the case and since I don't have a silver spoon blocking the exit, as it were, there's plently of room for this to come out, "Too Freaking Bad!!"

Ya Gotta Have Faith--Part Deux

Ya Gotta Have Faith—Part Two

These days people seem to use their faith more as a crutch than as a means of guidance. They look for hope in their futures and a way to reconcile their past, but there is still that essence of hypocrisy in many of the organized religions that exist today because their purpose has become to operate more as businesses than as bastions of solitude and reflection.

I’ve got my own God. He’s nameless. He believes in love, taking care of our kids and loving our spouses as if this is our last day to love them. My God doesn’t like us taking what isn’t ours, he doesn’t like us to hate anyone simply because of their color or race (he hates people based on their actions), and he likes us to relish our world and the beauty that surrounds us in it.

He doesn’t believe in taking advantage of those who come to serve him willingly and he doesn’t believe in, after taking advantage of those who have come to serve him willingly, asking parishioners for extra contributions to pay for a defense fund for those in power who have done just that. He doesn’t, as a matter of fact, believe in earmarking a certain amount of money for himself because he doesn’t deal in any secular, legal tender—as Bono said, “The God I believe in isn’t short on cash mister”.
He doesn’t mind me swearing-especially at asshole drivers. He likes rum and diet Pepsi with a lime. He likes that I adore beauty in everything from words to women because he knows that above all else I adore my wife and kids. He expects me to fuck up but he doesn’t like people that act like pricks all week and then go to church for one hour so they can feel as though they’ve repented even though they don’t really mean it. My God doesn’t condone any action that results in the pain, suffering or death of someone else. In essence, my God has one general rule—Don’t be a dick!!

My God wants us to give of ourselves because we want to and not because we feel we have to. He’s a part of me, he’s how I act, he’s how I love and he’s looking at me from the mirror every morning while I get ready for my day saying “Hello you magnificent bastard”. And, at the end of my day, my God likes me to be able to look at myself in the mirror and be able to say that I did the best I could even though I am fallible and prone to mistakes. My God is a helluva guy!!

Of course I could be wrong and one day the one true God could manifest him or her self in my chopped salad from Portillo’s and tell me that I’m going straight to freaking hell! Christ! I wonder how much I could get for that salad on eBay?

Ya Gotta Have Faith-Part One

He’s back. He’s rested. He’s ready to attack more of the seemingly innocent. Innocence is really more a perspective nowadays anyway, isn’t it?

Ya Gotta Have Faith—Part One
(I’ve been told I tend to be verbose, so this one’s in two parts)

To clarify—my dumb ass of the week did not qualify based on her finding the Virgin Mary in her grilled cheese sandwich, she qualified for tattooing her grilled cheese sandwich on her chest. ‘Cause lets face it, people are going to see what they want to see, even if it may not make any sense to the rest of us.

People have been finding ‘signs’ to support their faith for hundreds of years. Whether it is the shroud of Turin or a grilled cheese sandwich, our individual gods have been finding a way to manifest themselves in our worlds to appease our question of their existence. Faith is a strong thing. We all have faith in something; it’s just that some of us are a little misdirected in exactly what we should do with it.

I’ve heard countless numbers of the faithful preaching at work, mostly Christians, about what their gods want them to do while they are in essence nothing more than misguided hypocrites. They incessantly quote the Bible regarding how one is supposed to live their lives while they cheat on their wives, steal from their employer and hate with the relish one usually saves for those times when one stomps a cockroach. I have a different view, big surprise, at just exactly what faith has evolved into these days.

People have an inherent need to explain things. Oh, they say they don’t, they say that they accept things as they are but deep down inside they have a need to qualify the things that have happened to them—call it our intrinsic need for logic. A child dies, a horrible natural disaster occurs and people like to call it “God’s will”. If an athlete makes a touchdown or hits a home run, they thank God, like God doesn’t have anything better to do that day than make sure that Sammy Sosa hits a fucking home run, especially after he allegedly beat his wife the night before.

We have some bizarre need to explain things rather than just accepting things as they are. At funerals people will tell you it was God’s will or God’s way of testing us because it couldn’t possibly be that our 102 year-old grandmother died because she was, well, 102 years-old. People wear their faith like armor and use it to deflect those things that happen each and every day in the worlds they’ve created for themselves. They bury themselves in it when things don’t turn out the way they wanted, they praise it when they do, and when there seems there is no explanation they create justifications in the name of their faith.

You see these folks on the news all the time, “God is testing me”, “It was God’s will”, “God decided to call him/her home”. One question---which God, which home? (I guess that’s two questions) When the terrorists flew their planes into the twin towers, they did so in the name of Allah, does that make it right? Holy wars have been raging in the Middle East since Jesus left his sandals in the middle of the desert. All in the name of their own personal Jesus, perhaps Allah appeared in their hummus (as Allah often does).

We go to work, we play, we raise families and tragedies occur daily. Hitler’s god didn’t like Jews, the Al Qaida’s god doesn’t like Americans, and Al Sharpton’s god doesn’t seem to like anyone that Al Sharpton doesn't like. So which god is which?

With this many gods, how can one be sure they’ve chosen the right one and how can one be sure that one is acting on this divine individual’s will? Well, we’re told we gotta have faith; faith that God will show us the way, faith that God loves us, faith that God had a reason for allowing a deranged psychopath to go crazy at Virginia Tech—to wit: What possible fucking reason could God have had for that??? One thing is for sure; if there is only one true God a lot of us are going to be pissed off when they realize that they should have been Zen Buddhists all of their lives.

**Tune in tomorrow for part deux before you tear me a new one!

Weekly Review

Weekly Review-5/6 through 5/12

Sun . . . the 'Donger' needs rest

Mon . . . If someone ever successfully bred a pig and a goose a lot of shit would
happen (think about it)

Tues . . . what necessitated the invention of straws?

Weds . . . Santa, Satan . . . hmmmmmm

Thurs . . . oddly enough I haven't had a random thought at all today so in lieu of
that---Happy Birthday Bono!!

Fri . . . people who don't use their turn signals suck

abandonment of my post

I will be loa for a couple of days so talk amongst yourselves. It's not like you're talking to me anyway . . .

But whilst I am absent consider this, it's lonely in here without anyone to talk with. While I am sure that it is intimidating to consider the possible outcome of engaging my scathing wit and incandescent charm, please . . . engage. I will be happy to acquiesce to your greater ability to sling the hash, if I have been bested.

The whole purpose here is to engage in some kind of meaningful banter that will, if nothing else, attempt to open either mind in some fashion at the very least. And if you are bested then I will smile and wave as you walk dejectedly into the sunset with your tail between your legs (but I will at least think about what you said)

So I will be back next week. In the meantime--Happy mother's Day to all you mothers!! And since I haven't cursed in my post today, I will just add a little
f--k, because well everyone needs a little f--k now and again!!

Cheers to you Moms!!

I Used to Love This Game

I Love This Game!

How frustrating must it be for a parent who was an adequate, at best, athlete in their own glory days to watch their own children playing the sport that they themselves held high aspirations for. It must be somewhat troubling for them to have to live vicariously even though that child may not have any similar aspirations, let alone any drive to even want to play the game.

A friend of mine who is a fifth grade teacher was telling me about her day last week. It had started out especially rough for her when one of her students was in near hysterics at the beginning of the day. It seems that he’d given up 5 runs in his game the previous evening and the coach ended up telling him that he was cutting him from the team and furthermore that he’d never play baseball again if he (the coach) had anything to do with it. Now I don’t know which is worse—that this piece of shit is coaching fifth graders or that this piece of shit is the kid’s father (and when I say piece of shit, I mean it as sincerely as possible). To make matters worse when my friend called the boy’s mother to inform her of the problem, the mother simply replied, “Oh, he’s still upset about that?”


It’s completely normal to want our kids to succeed. It’s probably even normal for parents to wish for our kids to achieve greatness in their lives. The anomaly, however, occurs when a parent’s own frustration with their own obscurity is transferred to the extent that a parent drives their children with the intensity of a wolverine on crack and a double shot of espresso.

As a society we’re arguably as responsible as some of the parents here. We worship athletes with a reverence usually reserved for our Gods, pay them more than corporate CEOs and allow them to act like spoiled, insecure little divas—and we don’t have a problem with that. Sure, we get a little upset when they have their run-ins with the law. But even then we don’t care as long as they’re allowed to play for our teams before they accept their punishment.

I have a son who has a basic talent for the game of futbol, and there have been times when I have been just as guilty at the sort of behavior usually reserved for a rabid dog in August. Luckily for me, however, I have a wife that’s not afraid to let me know when I’m acting like an asshole. I realize as I’m writing this that I’m addressing myself as well.

Sports are games kids, and as such deserve the kind of behavior one generally exhibits when playing a marathon session of monopoly. Yes, it’s okay to get frustrated but remember, there are times when even the $100 million man doesn’t get a hit. Our own frustration shouldn’t be transferred to our kids, ‘cause you know what . . . to them it’s still a game, not a career choice, and games are supposed to be fun.

When it all comes down to, it’s not the leisurely catch in the back yard they’re gonna remember when they get older. It’s you acting like an asshole when they lose the big game or don’t perform at the level expected. Most kids, when asked, will say that the strongest person they know is their father or that their heroes are their parents—be that! If not, sooner or later they’ll forget when the game was fun and end up frustrated adults who engage in fisticuffs over a pastime that can, and should, be a beautiful part of their past, present, or perhaps their future, if that’s the road they choose to follow and not the one that you’re trying to pave for them.


Note: Because he far exceeds the necessary requirements, the coach/father noted in today’s entry wins the Extra Special/Suplemental dumb ass of the day award for far exceeding the usual dumb ass standards!! Congratulations Dumb Ass!!

Speak Softly and Carry a Kind Word

note--a dissenting view gives creedence to a healthy discourse and healthy discourse facilitates compromise--don't be afraid to comment kids, whether you agree or not. My mind is open so don't be afraid to come in and scramble it a bit!!



Speak Softly and Carry a Kind Word

“Got a gun, fact I got two. That's ok man, 'cause I love God”
-Pearl Jam


Guns don’t kill people, psychotic individuals with the proverbial screw loose kill people. Don’t believe me . . . try this.

With no one else around, take a loaded gun. If you don’t have one borrow one, surely someone you know has one. Anyway, take the loaded gun and set it on your coffee table. Now pour yourself a drink, fire up the corn cob, whatever tickles your fancy, turn on some Metallica or AC/DC or some kind of heavy metal, because heavy metal is the devil’s music kids, put a copy of The Matrix in the old DVD player and then sit directly across from the gun. Now, just wait . . . and wait . . . and wait . . .

No shit, you could sit there for hours and the goddamn thing won’t fire on you, seriously, it’s really weird! Now if the cat comes and jumps on the table while you’re sitting there, all bets are off and you’re probably f---ed cause no one else is around to save you. As hard as it may be for some people to see though, the gun will not have been responsible.

Now I’m no proponent of arming ourselves to the gills, as a matter of fact I run from guns like a co-ed running from a bunch of drunk rugby players, no offense to drunk rugby players. But it is a choice, like should I get Wonder Bread or Butternut? 4 out of 5 anti-gun zealots prefer Butternut (based on an unscientific study). Again, it is a choice, and a choice guaranteed us by our Constitution. What I am saying is that existing legislation doesn’t even begin to address the unstable environment we have created for ourselves to live in.

We have desensitized ourselves to violence to the extent that we are completely unfazed when an innocent child is gunned down by unintentional crossfire. I mean Geez, I’m surprised that the sensationalistic broadcasts haven’t begun playing Another One Bites the Dust in the background as that inevitable portion of the nightly ‘News’ airs. We’ve created psychobabble to explain away the reasons that these nut sacks end up taking 3 or 5 or 10 others with them when they decide to cash it all in because for some reason we just have a hard time accepting that they were f--ked up! It would seem we feel better if we have a relevant explanation for their behavior.

So, when Cho Seung Hui went into the gun shop to buy his first gun, the red flags should have been flying as prominently as Britney Spears’ crotch in a paparazzi photo, let alone when he went to get his second. The time has come that those for and those against guns reach a compromise. I’m not trying to disarm those for, nor am I trying to arm those who are against. I am saying is that there needs to be some way to alarm authorities to possible threats. What does a 23-year-old English major really need with a handgun? Is the undergrad coursework on Shakespeare at Virginia Tech really that stressful?

Truth be told, ambiguous legislation needs to be a tad more qualified because these crazy bastards out there are going to continue to arm themselves thereby necessitating citizens arming themselves. And overzealous gun mongers who are ready to shoot the left arm off their daughter’s Teddy Ruxpin if that freaky little f--ker looks at them that way again will continue to have an argument as long as this is the case.

As this isn’t the first time, and most likely (and sadly) not going to be the last time an event like the one that happened at Virginia Tech will occur, everybody should be willing to give a little to ensure that we’ve done everything, and I mean everything, to prevent another tragedy. Think about this kids, what if next time it occurs at your kids’ school and one of your own gets caught in the crosshairs by an idiot with an agenda. What then?

Teddy Roosevelt once said that one should “Speak softly and carry a big stick”. Al Capone reiterated this sentiment by inferring that “You can get a lot farther with a kind word and a gun than a kind word alone”. It would seem that as a society we have taken these statements to heart. The problem is that if we keep walking around, swinging our shafts then we’re kind of asking to be challenged. Is that a challenge you want your kids to face?

Happy A--holes : )

*Disclaimer for last Blog entry—just in case I offended any of the hardworking immigrants who have come to this country along legitimate channels, sorry, you’re not included in my little tirade. That was reserved for those who cross a river, or sneak over a bridge, or wash up on the coast and then get false documents, work here, and send most of their money home with no intention of ever becoming a productive member of the United States. And then, they bitch about our sending, or wanting to send them back. F. U. to those folks!

Secondly, HA! to whatever idiot wanted to make it so that Cook County would have no right to question the legal rights of immigrants to work within our system, isn’t it hard enough for those of us who do? So F.U. to those persons!


And now, on with the show!! Hello my faithful reader(s). I intended to go in another direction today but the wonderful administration at my current place of employment have necessitated a segue into another area. I’ll return to bitchin’ about other topics later this week, in the meantime . . .

Happy A--holes

Completely simulated conversation between Todd Stroger and some of his staff:

“Dr. Simon? Hi Bob! Listen, I was thinking, it’s been like 12 hours since we bent over some of our employees for a real f---in’. What can we do about that?”

“What’s that you say, let’s demand that all of our managers who haven’t gotten a raise in over three years to take 10 days off without pay under the guise of saving their jobs, many of which we have already cut from the budget? Well goddamn Bob, that’s the best one yet!!”

“Thanks Bob, you’ve really outdone yourself this time! You’d better get busy if you’re gonna top that one! And, Bob . . . thanks, no one screws over our employees, residents, and taxpayers like you, except maybe me, ha, ha, ha. You’re doing a great job!”

Ring-Ring-Ring-phone rings(duh)

“Hi Andre (Garner, press relations for President Stroger-doesn’t talk to media). Listen, I was just talking to Bob Simon and we decided to screw over middle management again. Yeah, it is funny isn't it?”

“No, you don’t have to talk to the media about it, why in the hell would a PR person talk to the media?!”

“Of course you can continue to collect your $86,000 a year without ever speaking to the media.”

“I don’t have to explain myself! Listen, I don’t have to explain myself to the commissioners or the taxpayers or the media or the employees. I’m the President dammit!”

“By the way, you’re doing a great job!”

“No, I know you don’t really do anything but you’re doing a great job anyway!”

For those of you who are unfamiliar with my previous work, and even for those of you who are, here’s a recap as to the state of middle management at my current place of employment, or within the Cook County Health Services division:

In February, I got a pink slip. I haven’t received a raise in over three years, none of us in county management have—except for the commissioners, the president, the interim president and many of the unqualified individuals that have been able to take advantage of the questionable scruples of the current administration. My pink slip was rescinded. Many have been laid off while Toddy continues to hire more unnecessary people who are not required to actually do anything. The budget has been passed but a qualified version of said budget is yet to be made available to the taxpayers, also known as those who pay for the budget. Many more have been laid off or terminated. An alleged 11 to 13 million dollars is being spent to tuck-point the brick at my place of employment, even thought 60 to 70 percent of the space is being unused and they’re trying to end long term care. A pseudo-budget is on one of the County websites indicating that my position, among many others, is no longer going to be necessary. And now, they want me, that’s right, me, to take 2 weeks off without pay.

Here’s a cryptic message to said administration, if you can’t figure it out perhaps you can have some of your PR people try it, it’s not like they have anything else to do. Anyway, here’s my response to your ‘request’ for me to take 10 days unpaid even though you’ve already discontinued my position:

11-9-19-19/ 13-25/ 1-19-19

Have a ball, and hey, I mean it sincerely!

I’ll tell you what kids, I could go on and on about the madness of King Todd here but I will just suffice it to say that in my world assholes are wiped clean, not left to sit happy in their own shit. And ya know what else boys, girls, and others; those responsible for this administration are a bunch of happy assholes. It’s time to appeal to the parents in this dysfunctional little family, or the taxpayers, to step in with some flushable wipes ‘cause it’s starting to f--king stink around here!!

P.S. Kudos to Stroger for getting his cousin confirmed as the County's chief financial officer!! Since she was in a position to actually do something about the f---ed up financial state of the county for the last 8 years, this can only mean that we have three and a half more years of stellar performance to look forward to!!

Finally

Sorry faithful reader, lost track a bit and was sidelined for a few days. I meant to get right on it, but was feeling a bit under the weather so I decided to wait until I was at least 70 % until I began attacking people again. I'm almost there so let's begin with another week of attacking those whose very existence warrants being chastised. Time to take a deliberate skew on some of those hot button issues that I'm certain will warrant a healthy and heated discussion, so away we go . . .

La Migra

It seems the issue of immigration is again pushing itself to the forefront. With a rally scheduled in Daley Plaza in Chicago on May 1, immigrants are demanding reform. First off, let’s clarify. When I speak of illegal immigrants, I am including all illegal immigrants—Polish, Irish, Middle Eastern, Indian (from India), Hispanic, et.al.

The headline on Sunday’s Chicago Tribune read Raids stoke immigration ire. And why shouldn’t they. It’s bad enough that we should expect those crossing our borders to register and apply for visas along legal channels, but then we raid businesses looking for these folks and deport them—well, that’s just plain mean. Its not like we have laws outlining procedures for entering this country, is it? Those evil bastards over and the Immigration service are just so cold hearted. I have seen the enemy and the enemy is La Migra.

The story in the Trib went on to explain how these raids are breaking up families, and infringing upon the civil rights of these folks. But, I digress, ya see in my world things work a little different. In my world the civil liberties of U.S. citizens are one of those things that are reserved for—I don’t know—U.S. CITIZENS!!

I’m sorry that families are being broken apart, sincerely I am, and that these folks’ unalienable stab at the American Dream are being taken from them, but no one, as far as I know, directed them to cross the borders illegally. It takes our understaffed immigration officials years to catch up with them and by that point they have had several children and established roots on our shores. The children are of course naturalized, and then we’re the a--holes for sending the undocumented parents back—is that about right? Maybe I’m crazy, but when a pregnant mother crosses the border into the United States FOR THE PURPOSE OF GIVING BIRTH, isn’t that an infringement of OUR RIGHTS as U.S. citizens? We don’t have national health care but our tax dollars pay for THEIR medical expenses and then we’re supposed to welcome them into the fold?

Now I’ll be the first to admit that some cheeky Americans feel that much of the work performed by these people is beneath them. Proud Americans feel that it’s an insult to expect them to perform manual labor at low pay and to work long hours with little recognition. That’s our fault kids. Many of these illegals do just that though. They not only work longer than us and at a lower wage, but they work harder, and goddamn it, we expect it. I mean GEEZ, they couldn’t possibly expect us to do it, have you seen A Day Without a Mexican, the freakin’ country would shut down! But we’ve made this bed of nails, time to lie down without bitchin’ about the holes in our backs.

Since young Fievel Mousekewitz immigrated here with his family from Russia, its been known worldwide that the streets here are paved with cheese, and we are merely those paying for said cheese. It would seem that we already go out of our way, we meaning the government, for documented immigrants. At my place of employment alone there are immigrants who own several houses, own businesses, or they have left their part-time jobs to open their own businesses. Last time I tried to open my own business there were so many roadblocks that it made it unfavorable for me to do so. But they get tax breaks, incentives, etc., because we need those incentives to go somewhere, why should those paying the taxes get them? When did the rules get changed? Its bottom of the ninth, I’m playing away, I’ve got bases loaded, a two run lead and all of a sudden I have to pitch underhand to a player that’s batting .750. It’s time to either take back our game or change f---ing leagues.

They’re here kids, and seemingly here to stay so we may as well get used to it, but I do have a question. When do I get my shot at the American Dream, I am after all American. Am I to suppose that the American Dream is reserved for those whose nationality is defined more by geography than inherence? Or maybe the time has come to hyphenate my nationality. Well ya know what, that’s not gonna happen.

I was born here so I’m not some kind of goddamn hyphenated American, I’M AN AMERICAN, and as such I should be entitled to have my tax dollars work for me and my fellow residents! After all, if I moved to a foreign country, I would be expected to assimilate. I would be expected to learn their language, their customs, their way of life. I would be expected to follow laws, abide by their tenets and adhere to their policies. If I was unwilling to do so, I would likely be asked to leaved, or probably be TOLD to leave, and you know what . . . I would expect it. They didn’t, after all, ask ME to move there.

Well, the phone lines are now open, so c’mon, kick my ass, I should be used to it by now, I've been having it kicked by my own rules for years.

Random Thoughts - week 1/review

Random Thoughts – ( 4/22 through 4/28)

Sun. . . . what about yarn?
Mon. . . . urinals are incredibly well-designed
Tues. . . . tater tits-hmmmm, George Carlin might have had something there
Weds. . . . audacity and irreverence are necessary components to a flawed but happy
existence
Thurs. . . . the term “tea bag” makes me laugh
Fri. . . . why did Yankee Doodle call it macaroni?
Sat. . . . one word---smegma

Celebrity Gossip . . . Story at 11:00

Celebrity Gossip . . . Story at 11:00

Has the banality of our own lives become so overwhelming that we have to seek solace in the knowledge that celebrities are just as f---ed up as we are? We’ve even gone so far in recent years as to actually care about their interactions and deem them newsworthy.

Tonight at 11:00, the DNA results in the Anna Nicole Smith baby lottery.

It’s bad enough with the supposedly legitimate news agencies broadcasting Larry Birkhead raising his arms in victory as if to say, “I’m not sterile!” But to see it re-broadcast over and over again because there were so many of us out there that actually gave a shit, that was the real kick. Is it just me or would this whole thing have been much more interesting if Ms. Smith would have been able to keep her legs closed during her grossly overextended 15 minutes. There’s a reason that there hasn’t been an Anna Nicole Smith sex tape---everyone’s seen it, personally, so it wouldn’t be any big deal.

Again, this past weekend people were anxiously glued to their televisions awaiting the latest surrounding Alec Baldwin’s cell phone tirade. Truth be told, not only was this leak most likely premeditated, it was pathetic. It’s got to be hard enough to be a parent let alone being a parent that is held under the kind of scrutiny that is usually reserved for a rectum in a Turkish airport.

They’re not role models kids, they’re entertainers and we have no right to hold them to a higher standard than we’re willing to hold ourselves. They eat, they drink and they go to work. They drink Starbuck’s, drive too fast, sleep too little and sometimes they overindulge. They say things they regret, they do things they regret and every so often they have to eat crow just like we do.

We’re at blame here for allowing the media to shove this drek down our throats like a Frenchman making fois gras. We eat it all up with a fork, hang on every word like Trekkies listening to Leonard Nimoy at the annual meeting of the Vulcan nation (his name’s Leonard Nimoy kids, Mr. Spock was a character-not a real person you weirdos), and then beg for seconds. The day will come when our nightly news broadcasts will vaguely resemble Access Hollywood with weather and sports.

So let’s just take some liberty here and leave it at that. Hollywood parents are just as f---ed up as any parent, Keith Richards will probably snort his mother too, and underage celebrities drink and do more drugs than regular underage kids because they have more money. Simon Cowell is delightfully sarcastic, Sanjaya is the new William Hung, and Paula is a dipshit; Randy is just Randy. Tom is a couch-jumping freak, Britney’s a half-step up from trailer trash, Donald is an egomaniacal megalomaniac whose opinions differ from Rosie’s, who is also an egomaniacal megalomaniac, and Angelina has probably slept with everybody she has ever co-starred in a movie with—including Winona, that shoplifting weirdo.

Let Them Eat Fries

So I guess its time to get past the appetizers and into some meat!!

Let Them Eat Fries

I saw "Little Miss Sunshine" last weekend for the first time and thoughts have been nagging me ever since. First off let me say that I enjoyed it, thought it was a cute little movie. It occurred to me while watching it how ironic it was that this film got so much buzz from such a superficial and condescending community as Hollywood. Either that Hollywood is getting some semblance of a conscience.

Not the kind of conscience that comes from making a movie that brings about a movement or propels a wrong into the societal consciousness but the kind of conscience that tries to dispense of the lessons it brings us on the silver screen every chance it gets. The lesson that men and women need to fit into some kind of norm to be deemed attractive. To me this movie, or film if you prefer, condemns the lessons that one must be young, thin and attractive; exactly the lessons that Hollywood has been trying to convey for the last 50 years. And hey kids, we've got no problem with that, do we?

Oh we say we do, but you've seen it haven't you? The mother or father at the grocery store telling her kids that they can't have something because it'll make them fat or the guys at the gym making fun of somebody coming in for the first time calling them a 'cow' or a 'pig'. F----ing genius' these guys, whose entire existence revolves around how many steroids they can ingest and how big they can get before the heart damage becomes irreversable. These are the people who are the best judges of a person, parents who think their child's appearance reflects on them negatively or gym rats whose greatest accomplishment in life is breaking the 300 lb. mark on the bench press, and and we have allowed it to become so.

Hell, we've come to expect it, even accept and facilitate it. "Please god, don't let my daughter be fat, anything but that"-I think some people would rather their child be abducted by Bigfoot rather than have their own existence marred by the emotional strain of having an overweight child or even worse, one that is unattractive as defined by societal norms. We were always told as children that beauty comes from within? When then did the rules change and the motherf---ers in charge become the real life models for the Barbie and Ken dolls.

We take them to McDonald's, order them a happy meal and then chastise them for eating it. We throw them cheese puffs and cola and then blame the school cafeteria for contributing to the childhood obesity epidemic. We throw them in front of the TV with video games and DVDs and then wonder why they are failing PE. We create for them a sedentary life and then condemn them for living it.

Well as long as we can blame someone else, thank god it's not on our own conscience.

I haven't even started on the well-meaning parents and family members who harp on a child carrying a little extra tonnage so much that their only recourse is to hide in the closet until the twinkies they stash behind their stuffed animals become more important to them than having any self-esteem. These folks coupled with, of course, the do-gooder parents who force their opinions on their children so hard that they either become complacent conformists or societal f---ups.

We didn't have this problem 50 years ago kids. We ate ding-dongs and drank tang and real cola. We played outside, read books, and used our imaginations. Our parents made our dinners, eating out was a treat and all it took for a movie to get an R rating was to have the verbal content of this post, sans dashes. Back then we were taught to form our own opinions, think for ourselves and to not be held back by anything.

Wake up kids, the lives our parents left for us to screw up our own lives and we are becoming more screwed up than they could have ever dreamed . . . can you hear them giggling? We've created psychobabble to explain away any inadequacies we've created and where we couldn't we've even found a way to project blame on others. Sure our life expectancy has increased since the day when our mothers greeted us after school like some kind of a freakish hybrid of June Cleaver and a stepford wife, but at what cost.

Didn't we always learn when we were growing up that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Next time we look at our own kids let's try to figure out exactly what we're seeing. At the end of the movie when our Little Miss Sunshine performed her dance to the dulcet tones of Rick James' Superfreak I smiled. I smiled at the thought of a smack-snorting grandfather teaching his granddaughter to thumb her nose at societal norms, I smiled at our society for accepting those norms, but mostly I smiled because at that moment I thought about just how glad I was that my own kids are still too young to know boundaries.

Hopefully by the time they are old enough, their mother and I will have given them enough fuel to ride right over any norms that try to hold them back, hit reverse and ride over them again. Yes I want fries with that Happy Meal . . . and don't be holding back on the f---in' special sauce either.

a view from the heap

This particular post will not mean all that much to those who live outside of the area, but it is an important example of what elected officials can do if they're given too much of the leash. I urge anyone who does live in the area of Cook County to share this with as many friends and family members as possible. The services afforded the residents of Cook County should not be cut without first consulting those whom it will affect, so let them know that it's not okay, contact your officials and make a big noise.

April 20, 2007
A View From the Heap


When one is standing outside looking over any type of perceived garbage heap, the truth is that it appears nothing more than an eyesore whose time has passed and requires a cleanup. But from inside the heap looking out we see so much more. Oak Forest Hospital seems to be in the midst of this phenomenon. The County Administration has deemed the hospital a drain on the budget when in fact it could be a solvent component of Cook County Health Services if they would only choose to allow it.

Oak Forest Hospital has been an integral part of the South Suburban community for over 100 years and should continue to be for many more. A misconception of just what Oak Forest Hospital is seems to have loomed over it for years and the County has done nothing to dispense of this ill-conceived notion. In essence, Oak Forest Hospital is a large, sprawling campus about which many residents of the South suburbs know nothing. It is much more than that.

I remember pulling up onto the hospital grounds my first day and being intimidated, if by nothing else, by its sheer size. I remember thinking that my grandfather gave 53 years of service to this place and raised his 16 children while working here. And I remembered coming here as a Cub Scout and volunteering to help patients with those mundane tasks so many of us perform without even a thought. It quickly became more than that. I realized shortly after arriving that I had become part of a community of caring whose sole purpose was to improve the quality of life for these patients whose names and faces Dr. Simon and Mr. Stroger are seeking to readily forget and toss aside.

More than just a place of employment for hundreds of dedicated workers, Oak Forest Hospital gives, in Dr. Simon’s own words, premium care in a park like setting. And who wouldn’t want to give that kind of an environment to patients who could conceivably spend the rest of their lives residing here. But it’s more than even that. Oak Forest Hospital provides a necessary service to the residents of the South Suburbs. It is a trauma center, an exceptional rehabilitation facility and a home to hundreds of patients who have nowhere else to go. Instead of seeking to eliminate long-term care perhaps the services provided here should be expanded.

A short while back I remember reading that injured veterans returning from Iraq and Afghanistan are finding they’ve nowhere to go, as the VA Hospitals are all full. We’ve got beds here, hundreds of them, with easy access for families to visit, acres of land on which to recover from the dangers these heroes encountered to facilitate our continued freedom, and hundreds of thoughtful, caring people waiting to provide them the kind of care they deserve. Nothing, it seems, is being done by the administration to save instead of dissolve this institution of caring and that’s a shame.

Maybe instead of outsourcing the service departments and dissolving the various therapeutic services and discarding these patients who have made Oak Forest Hospital their homes, we should be seeking to outsource the administration of the Cook County Healthcare System. If this were a publicly held corporation that was losing money continually due to mismanagement, the shareholders would be screaming for the ouster of its inept and inexperienced administrators. Well guess what, it is. The taxpayers of Cook County have just as much right to demand answers as the shareholders of any corporation.

From inside the trash heap, the view is more of a mess from on the outside looking in. Unanswered questions surface regarding a budget that is consistently referenced but has yet to surface. Turmoil looms in the distance for both the employees and, more importantly, the residents of Oak Forest Hospital. New layoff notices are expected daily and no one knows for sure just what direction this administration is seeking to take. There is a lot more to Oak Forest Hospital than much of the community knows, the current County administration knows that and even though several highly paid PR people, who don’t talk to the press, are compensated to make them aware. I’m happy to share this information at a much lower cost to the taxpayers than $86,000 a year.