Speak Softly and Carry a Kind Word

note--a dissenting view gives creedence to a healthy discourse and healthy discourse facilitates compromise--don't be afraid to comment kids, whether you agree or not. My mind is open so don't be afraid to come in and scramble it a bit!!



Speak Softly and Carry a Kind Word

“Got a gun, fact I got two. That's ok man, 'cause I love God”
-Pearl Jam


Guns don’t kill people, psychotic individuals with the proverbial screw loose kill people. Don’t believe me . . . try this.

With no one else around, take a loaded gun. If you don’t have one borrow one, surely someone you know has one. Anyway, take the loaded gun and set it on your coffee table. Now pour yourself a drink, fire up the corn cob, whatever tickles your fancy, turn on some Metallica or AC/DC or some kind of heavy metal, because heavy metal is the devil’s music kids, put a copy of The Matrix in the old DVD player and then sit directly across from the gun. Now, just wait . . . and wait . . . and wait . . .

No shit, you could sit there for hours and the goddamn thing won’t fire on you, seriously, it’s really weird! Now if the cat comes and jumps on the table while you’re sitting there, all bets are off and you’re probably f---ed cause no one else is around to save you. As hard as it may be for some people to see though, the gun will not have been responsible.

Now I’m no proponent of arming ourselves to the gills, as a matter of fact I run from guns like a co-ed running from a bunch of drunk rugby players, no offense to drunk rugby players. But it is a choice, like should I get Wonder Bread or Butternut? 4 out of 5 anti-gun zealots prefer Butternut (based on an unscientific study). Again, it is a choice, and a choice guaranteed us by our Constitution. What I am saying is that existing legislation doesn’t even begin to address the unstable environment we have created for ourselves to live in.

We have desensitized ourselves to violence to the extent that we are completely unfazed when an innocent child is gunned down by unintentional crossfire. I mean Geez, I’m surprised that the sensationalistic broadcasts haven’t begun playing Another One Bites the Dust in the background as that inevitable portion of the nightly ‘News’ airs. We’ve created psychobabble to explain away the reasons that these nut sacks end up taking 3 or 5 or 10 others with them when they decide to cash it all in because for some reason we just have a hard time accepting that they were f--ked up! It would seem we feel better if we have a relevant explanation for their behavior.

So, when Cho Seung Hui went into the gun shop to buy his first gun, the red flags should have been flying as prominently as Britney Spears’ crotch in a paparazzi photo, let alone when he went to get his second. The time has come that those for and those against guns reach a compromise. I’m not trying to disarm those for, nor am I trying to arm those who are against. I am saying is that there needs to be some way to alarm authorities to possible threats. What does a 23-year-old English major really need with a handgun? Is the undergrad coursework on Shakespeare at Virginia Tech really that stressful?

Truth be told, ambiguous legislation needs to be a tad more qualified because these crazy bastards out there are going to continue to arm themselves thereby necessitating citizens arming themselves. And overzealous gun mongers who are ready to shoot the left arm off their daughter’s Teddy Ruxpin if that freaky little f--ker looks at them that way again will continue to have an argument as long as this is the case.

As this isn’t the first time, and most likely (and sadly) not going to be the last time an event like the one that happened at Virginia Tech will occur, everybody should be willing to give a little to ensure that we’ve done everything, and I mean everything, to prevent another tragedy. Think about this kids, what if next time it occurs at your kids’ school and one of your own gets caught in the crosshairs by an idiot with an agenda. What then?

Teddy Roosevelt once said that one should “Speak softly and carry a big stick”. Al Capone reiterated this sentiment by inferring that “You can get a lot farther with a kind word and a gun than a kind word alone”. It would seem that as a society we have taken these statements to heart. The problem is that if we keep walking around, swinging our shafts then we’re kind of asking to be challenged. Is that a challenge you want your kids to face?