The following is a letter I wrote in to a large metropolitan newspaper last week but that was not published, there are similarities to an editorial in said newspaper published today that are eerily familiar though, hmmmm . . .
It’s Not Easy Being King
Poor, poor President Stroger, the lesser. He’s had a tough road lately. Ever since taking the trouble to wrangle the nomination for County Board President from those more qualified he has had a tough road to hoe. He’s had to ensure that all of his family and friends have high paying County jobs. He’s had to begin the biggest layoff that the County has seen in more than 20 years. He’s had to give up his elevator and he’s had to answer for his actions. And now he’s trying to downplay the importance of the mess over at the hospital that was named for his father. It must be bad enough skating into a position that shouldn’t have been yours to begin with, but then being expected to clarify the reasons for your actions, well, that must be unbearable.
It’s a funny thing when you decide you want to be in charge of a government system whose budget is larger than the budget of many Fortune 500 companies, you become what we in the rest of the world like to call accountable. And to blame the press for your own inadequacy, well that’s just silly. Some of us take exception as well with the insults handed out to both the press and the commissioners. It is the job of the press, nay their responsibility, to scrutinize our public officials. And to imply that the commissioners lack the ability to think for themselves, well that’s just the inane rumblings of the disenchanted.
I’m going to try to make this as easy to understand as possible Mr. President. We have what is called a system of checks and balances in government here in the United States. The framers of the Constitution, that means the guys who wrote and planned our government, decided that it would not be a good idea to not give too much power to any one branch of the government. Many local governments agreed and put similar systems in place. That way, if say the president decided he wanted to spend a bunch of money that belonged to the people without telling anyone, another branch would question him and ensure thereby that said government remained a democracy instead of a autocracy.
Stop whining chief. No one is making your job hard but you. You got yourself elected, something we’re all still trying to figure out. You made back room deals to get your budget passed, again something we’re all still trying to figure out. For some reason we still haven’t seen this mystery budget that is paid for by the taxpayers of Cook County for their benefit, not yours. At this point it would seem to the general public that nearly everyone in your family and personal circle has a great job within the County, quite frankly we wouldn’t be surprised to find out that you have a four-year-old niece in charge of the County day care system at $85,000 a year.
Sorry but you don’t get to complain about being scrutinized, it comes with the territory and you volunteered for this particular assignment. Now I don’t fault you for taking advantage of one of the last refuges for nepotism in the free world because it’s not just you taking from the kitty, but the time has come to pony up and take some responsibility for your own actions. Nobody ever said it was easy being king, but it’s a hell of a lot harder when you realize that your subjects are willing to take exception with the way you rule. So don’t fret too much because from here on out, it’s only going to get harder.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Charity Begins at Home
Darfur, is that near Cleveland?
Once again the Hollywood community has chosen its cause of the week and this week’s winner is Darfur, which I believe is somewhere near Cleveland. Now before we all get testy let’s be sure to clarify that Hollywood does do a lot of charity work. Following the 9/11 terrorist attacks, that community stepped up and raised a lot of money for the victims and families of those injured or killed. After Hurricane Katrina ravaged the Gulf coast, again Hollywood stepped up and raised money for those devastated by nature’s fury. And, when the list of b-list actors and has-beens grew too large, they created Dancing with the Stars and Celebrity Fit Club so these folks would have an outlet for their talents.
So now we are to send our overtaxed, hard earned dollars to the Darfur region that is experiencing atrocities unmentioned. I’m taking this as an affirmation that there are no more problems facing the people of the United States. Apparently there are no more children here who go to bed hungry. I’m assuming that every citizen has health insurance. I surmise that the homeless all found homes, all domestic diseases have been cured and that each of us has a full tank of gas.
Millions of dollars were raised last week when a benefit for the region of Darfur was held last week in Chicago by the new ‘brat pack’. Fat cats happily shelled out hundreds of thousands for a chance to view a movie and have a ‘meet and greet’ with the stars of Oceans Thirteen. Now, from the viewpoint of a middle-class Midwestern boy this is tantamount to holding a benefit for hair plugs for singer/actresses that decide to shave their heads in a moment of supreme drug or alcohol induced idiocy.
I don’t mean to seem insensitive and I’m sure that the problems facing this region are indeed staggering, to say the least, but the fact is that the affluent and infamous of American society, who get affluent and infamous wholly, if not completely, on American dollars, always seem to find causes outside the United States to devote their time and efforts to. And while they do, they continue to collect exorbitant amounts of American money for dressing up and pretending to be someone they’re not or by stripping the public of their money and dignity.
Last time I checked a random microcosm of American society did not closely resemble fuckin’ Mayberry, the greatest threat to our safety was not a drunk named Otis, and we did not all have an Aunt Bee sending us a gingham lined picnic basket full of fried chicken and homemade Apple Pie for our lunches while we sat around our offices with the Bass family singing and strumming our guitars. We have crime and disease and poverty and politicians; all indicators that we still have our own problems to deal with.
So while Hollywood sits around this week and takes a vote on which cause they want to focus on next week, let’s all remember that charity begins at home. We still have people living in the streets, we still have people dying without proper healthcare, and now we have people standing on busy corners holding signs that read, “WILL WORK FOR GAS MONEY”. Until that day comes that there is indeed a chicken in every pot here in the USA, let’s focus on causes at home rather than abroad. Or then again maybe I am wrong and Darfur really is near Cleveland.
Once again the Hollywood community has chosen its cause of the week and this week’s winner is Darfur, which I believe is somewhere near Cleveland. Now before we all get testy let’s be sure to clarify that Hollywood does do a lot of charity work. Following the 9/11 terrorist attacks, that community stepped up and raised a lot of money for the victims and families of those injured or killed. After Hurricane Katrina ravaged the Gulf coast, again Hollywood stepped up and raised money for those devastated by nature’s fury. And, when the list of b-list actors and has-beens grew too large, they created Dancing with the Stars and Celebrity Fit Club so these folks would have an outlet for their talents.
So now we are to send our overtaxed, hard earned dollars to the Darfur region that is experiencing atrocities unmentioned. I’m taking this as an affirmation that there are no more problems facing the people of the United States. Apparently there are no more children here who go to bed hungry. I’m assuming that every citizen has health insurance. I surmise that the homeless all found homes, all domestic diseases have been cured and that each of us has a full tank of gas.
Millions of dollars were raised last week when a benefit for the region of Darfur was held last week in Chicago by the new ‘brat pack’. Fat cats happily shelled out hundreds of thousands for a chance to view a movie and have a ‘meet and greet’ with the stars of Oceans Thirteen. Now, from the viewpoint of a middle-class Midwestern boy this is tantamount to holding a benefit for hair plugs for singer/actresses that decide to shave their heads in a moment of supreme drug or alcohol induced idiocy.
I don’t mean to seem insensitive and I’m sure that the problems facing this region are indeed staggering, to say the least, but the fact is that the affluent and infamous of American society, who get affluent and infamous wholly, if not completely, on American dollars, always seem to find causes outside the United States to devote their time and efforts to. And while they do, they continue to collect exorbitant amounts of American money for dressing up and pretending to be someone they’re not or by stripping the public of their money and dignity.
Last time I checked a random microcosm of American society did not closely resemble fuckin’ Mayberry, the greatest threat to our safety was not a drunk named Otis, and we did not all have an Aunt Bee sending us a gingham lined picnic basket full of fried chicken and homemade Apple Pie for our lunches while we sat around our offices with the Bass family singing and strumming our guitars. We have crime and disease and poverty and politicians; all indicators that we still have our own problems to deal with.
So while Hollywood sits around this week and takes a vote on which cause they want to focus on next week, let’s all remember that charity begins at home. We still have people living in the streets, we still have people dying without proper healthcare, and now we have people standing on busy corners holding signs that read, “WILL WORK FOR GAS MONEY”. Until that day comes that there is indeed a chicken in every pot here in the USA, let’s focus on causes at home rather than abroad. Or then again maybe I am wrong and Darfur really is near Cleveland.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Shaking The Foundations
The Year of Living Seriously (Shaking the Foundations) --- Part Three of a Series
There was a wonderful scene in the film National Treasure, a goofy but fun movie, in which Nicholas Cage is clarifying a beautiful passage from the Declaration of Independence. The passage reads:
“But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same object
evinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism, it is their right, it is their duty,
to throw off such government, and to provide new guards for their future security.”
He follows reading this section by observing that people don’t speak like that anymore and then clarifying its meaning by saying “If there’s something wrong, those who have the ability to take action have the responsibility to take action”. Not only do people not speak that way anymore, they don’t think that way either. There is a fear of offending others that denies any notion an individual may have of exploring an original or subversive thought these days. Subversion and divisiveness are the very basis upon which this country was founded and when we abandon these we are not only turning our backs on our past, we are also denying any semblance of a future we could have. Our foundations need a little shaking sometimes, it keeps our leaders honest.
When a disc jockey or a pundit or a sarcastic blogger are chastised for displaying his or her own interpretation of a particular event, we should be outraged. As a community, the United States have become so ultrasensitive that it would not surprise me that an insult levied against your next-door neighbor would be felt by their grandchildren’s grandchildren, and that they would take the same offense to it as on the day it was hurled. Individual interpretations should be fine; they should be commended as a matter of fact but they should never be construed as a personal affront.
If something is wrong, then by all means attack that wrong with the very fabric of your being, but for god’s sake let’s stop with attacking every possible thing that can be interpreted as a wrong because in perspective, anything can be interpreted to suit an individual’s taste. Shock jocks are supposed to shock us, especially by their words, but sometimes even with their actions. Laugh it off kids. Life is too freakin’ short to spend it seeking retribution for something that was intended as a joke. And hey, by the very act of attacking a wrong publicly, you not only give the transgression more publicity, you give it more credibility.
Save your energy for the greater wrongs being levied against humanity; the war in Iraq, the gasoline crisis, and those wacky outfits that models wear in fashion shows. We need a return to those days when complacency meant that you didn’t care and before it meant that you were an acceptable and productive member of society; then and only then can we get back to more important matters than offensive or suggestive language on our airwaves. Because although we are all entitled to our opinion; we have a greater responsibility to accept the opinions of others.
Pizza Recipe:
http://www.dailysouthtown.com/lifestyles/382124,141LIF4.article
There was a wonderful scene in the film National Treasure, a goofy but fun movie, in which Nicholas Cage is clarifying a beautiful passage from the Declaration of Independence. The passage reads:
“But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same object
evinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism, it is their right, it is their duty,
to throw off such government, and to provide new guards for their future security.”
He follows reading this section by observing that people don’t speak like that anymore and then clarifying its meaning by saying “If there’s something wrong, those who have the ability to take action have the responsibility to take action”. Not only do people not speak that way anymore, they don’t think that way either. There is a fear of offending others that denies any notion an individual may have of exploring an original or subversive thought these days. Subversion and divisiveness are the very basis upon which this country was founded and when we abandon these we are not only turning our backs on our past, we are also denying any semblance of a future we could have. Our foundations need a little shaking sometimes, it keeps our leaders honest.
When a disc jockey or a pundit or a sarcastic blogger are chastised for displaying his or her own interpretation of a particular event, we should be outraged. As a community, the United States have become so ultrasensitive that it would not surprise me that an insult levied against your next-door neighbor would be felt by their grandchildren’s grandchildren, and that they would take the same offense to it as on the day it was hurled. Individual interpretations should be fine; they should be commended as a matter of fact but they should never be construed as a personal affront.
If something is wrong, then by all means attack that wrong with the very fabric of your being, but for god’s sake let’s stop with attacking every possible thing that can be interpreted as a wrong because in perspective, anything can be interpreted to suit an individual’s taste. Shock jocks are supposed to shock us, especially by their words, but sometimes even with their actions. Laugh it off kids. Life is too freakin’ short to spend it seeking retribution for something that was intended as a joke. And hey, by the very act of attacking a wrong publicly, you not only give the transgression more publicity, you give it more credibility.
Save your energy for the greater wrongs being levied against humanity; the war in Iraq, the gasoline crisis, and those wacky outfits that models wear in fashion shows. We need a return to those days when complacency meant that you didn’t care and before it meant that you were an acceptable and productive member of society; then and only then can we get back to more important matters than offensive or suggestive language on our airwaves. Because although we are all entitled to our opinion; we have a greater responsibility to accept the opinions of others.
Pizza Recipe:
http://www.dailysouthtown.com/lifestyles/382124,141LIF4.article
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Skewing Ourselves
The Year of Living Seriously ( Skewing Ourselves ) --- Part Two of a Series
When did we lose the ability to laugh at ourselves? I’m guessing it was sometime close to when the term politically correct came into our vocabulary. That was it kids, the beginning of the end. All of a sudden we had to watch what we said and did because even the most innocent of comments or the most innocent of gestures could be skewed to fit our individual biases. Concessions, these days, to special interests are made so fast that Linda Blair couldn’t follow it even if her head really could do a 360.
In the meanwhile the status quo is left to surmise just how it was that they became the second-class citizens and the first generation immigrants all of a sudden got all of the perks. Now what, you may ask, does all of this have to do with naughty boys on the radio and thinking for ourselves? Well, I’m a gonna tell ya.
They are all symptoms of the same disease, and that disease is complacency. That’s right complacency, with a capital C and that rhymes with D and that stands for disease!! We’ve grown so complacent in our thinking that we have failed to realize that said complacency will lead to our downfall. In other words kids, we’re skewing ourselves into nonexistence. Yes skewing, not screwing.
We’re skewed so far to the left and skewed so far to the right that the common ground has been left for sarcastic bloggers, shock jocks, philosophers and poets and let’s face it folks, no one listens to them. The general population is taught to not speak out against anyone who could find your words offensive. We teach our kids to follow the golden rule, which is indeed a good rule, but leave the alternatives buried in ambiguity. We’ve become such a nation of babies that we’ve forgotten the addendum to the golden rule: Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me, unless you let them.
Well guess what kids, I’m here to tell you, I speak out but I expect that some will not agree with me and I expect them to speak out against me as well. I can dish and I can take. I sling the mud and relish the day that I will myself be caked in wet dirt, ‘cause I like being a dirty boy. The best part about it all, though, is that even when covered with mud, one still possesses the ability to wash it off and start anew.
We are all entitled to our opinion. We are entitled to like weird stuff, just look at the Trekkies and the freaks that line up at Star Wars conventions and tell me I’m wrong. We are entitled to scrutinize those in power because no one is above scrutiny. We are all entitled to say what the hell we want and we are all entitled to face the consequences, which should never exceed a counter slinging of verbal abuse. As Americans we are entitled!
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, irreverence and audacity are necessary parts to a happy but flawed existence. What the fuck does that mean, you may say. Well, speak out if something doesn’t seem right but don’t do so at the cost of someone else’s right to do the same. In other words, grow a set and say what you’re thinking kids, ideas lead directly to change and change, generally speaking, is a good thing. It is what brought us to be, to exist and to create this crazy but beautiful thing we call the USA.
*to be continued
When did we lose the ability to laugh at ourselves? I’m guessing it was sometime close to when the term politically correct came into our vocabulary. That was it kids, the beginning of the end. All of a sudden we had to watch what we said and did because even the most innocent of comments or the most innocent of gestures could be skewed to fit our individual biases. Concessions, these days, to special interests are made so fast that Linda Blair couldn’t follow it even if her head really could do a 360.
In the meanwhile the status quo is left to surmise just how it was that they became the second-class citizens and the first generation immigrants all of a sudden got all of the perks. Now what, you may ask, does all of this have to do with naughty boys on the radio and thinking for ourselves? Well, I’m a gonna tell ya.
They are all symptoms of the same disease, and that disease is complacency. That’s right complacency, with a capital C and that rhymes with D and that stands for disease!! We’ve grown so complacent in our thinking that we have failed to realize that said complacency will lead to our downfall. In other words kids, we’re skewing ourselves into nonexistence. Yes skewing, not screwing.
We’re skewed so far to the left and skewed so far to the right that the common ground has been left for sarcastic bloggers, shock jocks, philosophers and poets and let’s face it folks, no one listens to them. The general population is taught to not speak out against anyone who could find your words offensive. We teach our kids to follow the golden rule, which is indeed a good rule, but leave the alternatives buried in ambiguity. We’ve become such a nation of babies that we’ve forgotten the addendum to the golden rule: Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me, unless you let them.
Well guess what kids, I’m here to tell you, I speak out but I expect that some will not agree with me and I expect them to speak out against me as well. I can dish and I can take. I sling the mud and relish the day that I will myself be caked in wet dirt, ‘cause I like being a dirty boy. The best part about it all, though, is that even when covered with mud, one still possesses the ability to wash it off and start anew.
We are all entitled to our opinion. We are entitled to like weird stuff, just look at the Trekkies and the freaks that line up at Star Wars conventions and tell me I’m wrong. We are entitled to scrutinize those in power because no one is above scrutiny. We are all entitled to say what the hell we want and we are all entitled to face the consequences, which should never exceed a counter slinging of verbal abuse. As Americans we are entitled!
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, irreverence and audacity are necessary parts to a happy but flawed existence. What the fuck does that mean, you may say. Well, speak out if something doesn’t seem right but don’t do so at the cost of someone else’s right to do the same. In other words, grow a set and say what you’re thinking kids, ideas lead directly to change and change, generally speaking, is a good thing. It is what brought us to be, to exist and to create this crazy but beautiful thing we call the USA.
*to be continued
Monday, May 21, 2007
Naughty Boys
The Year of Living Seriously (Naughty Boys) --- Part One of a Series
*the following is the beginning of a series that will more than likely go at least three days . . . see what happens when you have a week to think about something
Hi kids! Just so you know, per the current social climate, freedom of thought is currently still allowed but freedom of expression is dead. In other words think what you will, just don’t tell anyone. You think I’m kidding but it’s true, just ask Opie and Anthony. These two are a couple of shock jocks (to clarify a shock jock is one who is supposed to, by definition, SHOCK us) that were recently suspended for discussing sexual fantasies about Condi Rice, Laura Bush and Queen Elizabeth.
I can’t say for sure but I’m relatively certain that this is, in some small part, fallout following the whole Don Imus controversy last month. Don Imus, as you remember, was fired for derogatory comments he made on Al Sharpton’s radio show. Now I did hear Imus’ comment but I never heard the comments made by these two. I am, however, rather certain as well, that this was not the first time that either Imus or Opie and Anthony either behaved in this manner or made remarks of this nature. Truth be told, these statements were intended to shock as well as amuse their audience and, as this is part of the job description, it should not have come as any surprise.
The big problem is that the environment has changed, we are living way too seriously lately. We're afraid to offend, we're afraid to respond, and we're afraid to speak our minds. So here’s some warnings to those out there who have the chutzpah to think for yourselves:
1. You can think whatever you wish but please refrain from verbalizing or sharing your thoughts in any way with anyone that may be offended. So if you, for example, are wrestling in your mind with the notion that there seems to be a lack of parity in the fact that it is racist to preclude young women of color participation in the Miss America pageant but that it is not racist to preclude young Caucasian women participation in the Miss Black America pageant . . . Please!! Keep it to yourself!
2. Thoughts lead to ideas, ideas lead to plans, plans lead to actions and actions lead to change. Those in power don’t want you to think, it may lead you to recognize the fact that you have more power than they do and they certainly don’t want you to recognize that.
3. Leaders of industry are consistently hypocritical. They like to hire people that are on the cutting edge, act in a creative manner or have original thoughts and then, they fire those same people for those same reasons. They’re kind of like those pro-lifers who cherish life above all else and then go and shoot living, breathing physicians under the premise of saving life.
The execs at CBS and XM radio have chosen, rather than grow a set of balls, to make a rather shortsighted attempt at growing a conscience. The problem is that they are chastising the talent that they hired to stir the proverbial pot for, well, stirring the proverbial pot. I’m ninety-nine percent sure that when the revenue is flowing freely they wouldn’t give a shit if these guys mentioned on air that the CEO of their company had fantasies about screwing a sheep named Glinda while wearing a diamond studded g-string (not that I have any conclusive proof that any particular CEO does or does not have this fantasy).
Has it really gotten to the point that comedians, disc jockeys and sarcastic pricks, present company included, are no longer allowed to make fun of us all without fearing some recourse. How freaking sensitive have we become?
( . . . to be continued )
*the following is the beginning of a series that will more than likely go at least three days . . . see what happens when you have a week to think about something
Hi kids! Just so you know, per the current social climate, freedom of thought is currently still allowed but freedom of expression is dead. In other words think what you will, just don’t tell anyone. You think I’m kidding but it’s true, just ask Opie and Anthony. These two are a couple of shock jocks (to clarify a shock jock is one who is supposed to, by definition, SHOCK us) that were recently suspended for discussing sexual fantasies about Condi Rice, Laura Bush and Queen Elizabeth.
I can’t say for sure but I’m relatively certain that this is, in some small part, fallout following the whole Don Imus controversy last month. Don Imus, as you remember, was fired for derogatory comments he made on Al Sharpton’s radio show. Now I did hear Imus’ comment but I never heard the comments made by these two. I am, however, rather certain as well, that this was not the first time that either Imus or Opie and Anthony either behaved in this manner or made remarks of this nature. Truth be told, these statements were intended to shock as well as amuse their audience and, as this is part of the job description, it should not have come as any surprise.
The big problem is that the environment has changed, we are living way too seriously lately. We're afraid to offend, we're afraid to respond, and we're afraid to speak our minds. So here’s some warnings to those out there who have the chutzpah to think for yourselves:
1. You can think whatever you wish but please refrain from verbalizing or sharing your thoughts in any way with anyone that may be offended. So if you, for example, are wrestling in your mind with the notion that there seems to be a lack of parity in the fact that it is racist to preclude young women of color participation in the Miss America pageant but that it is not racist to preclude young Caucasian women participation in the Miss Black America pageant . . . Please!! Keep it to yourself!
2. Thoughts lead to ideas, ideas lead to plans, plans lead to actions and actions lead to change. Those in power don’t want you to think, it may lead you to recognize the fact that you have more power than they do and they certainly don’t want you to recognize that.
3. Leaders of industry are consistently hypocritical. They like to hire people that are on the cutting edge, act in a creative manner or have original thoughts and then, they fire those same people for those same reasons. They’re kind of like those pro-lifers who cherish life above all else and then go and shoot living, breathing physicians under the premise of saving life.
The execs at CBS and XM radio have chosen, rather than grow a set of balls, to make a rather shortsighted attempt at growing a conscience. The problem is that they are chastising the talent that they hired to stir the proverbial pot for, well, stirring the proverbial pot. I’m ninety-nine percent sure that when the revenue is flowing freely they wouldn’t give a shit if these guys mentioned on air that the CEO of their company had fantasies about screwing a sheep named Glinda while wearing a diamond studded g-string (not that I have any conclusive proof that any particular CEO does or does not have this fantasy).
Has it really gotten to the point that comedians, disc jockeys and sarcastic pricks, present company included, are no longer allowed to make fun of us all without fearing some recourse. How freaking sensitive have we become?
( . . . to be continued )
Friday, May 18, 2007
Latest Notes from the Front
Note # 1 -- Since the previous article was written Andre Garner has begun speaking to the media. In his latest release he announced that Rupert Graham was the new big shot in the County Highway Department. Trouble was that he hadn't even been considered let alone approved by the Board. Way to kick ass Andre!! That Junior sure knows how to pick the ultra qualified!!
Note # 2 -- Junior was beaming on Tuesday when a special portrait of his father, the real President Stroger, was unveiled at the County Building last Tuesday. He even went as far as to say about his father "He believed you are here to help people, and if you're not doing that you're not doing anything" according to a story in the Sun Times. Nothing like qualifying your inability to embody good intentions.
Note # 3 -- a reported 50+ people were given their walking papers on Wednesday at Oak Forest Hospital. Does that qualify as helping people?
Note # 4 -- Commissioner Quigler said he was duped into voting to support Stoger's massive cuts in Todd's proposed budget. I'm trying not to laugh out loud right now!
Note # 2 -- Junior was beaming on Tuesday when a special portrait of his father, the real President Stroger, was unveiled at the County Building last Tuesday. He even went as far as to say about his father "He believed you are here to help people, and if you're not doing that you're not doing anything" according to a story in the Sun Times. Nothing like qualifying your inability to embody good intentions.
Note # 3 -- a reported 50+ people were given their walking papers on Wednesday at Oak Forest Hospital. Does that qualify as helping people?
Note # 4 -- Commissioner Quigler said he was duped into voting to support Stoger's massive cuts in Todd's proposed budget. I'm trying not to laugh out loud right now!
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Blood From A Stone
The lesser Stroger has necessitated my once again addressing the mess over at Cook County. I had originally intended to address the mess over at XM radio and the lack of a 'set' by those in charge as well as their inadequacies at comprehending that wacky freedom of speech thing we have here in the USA but young Toddy keeps continuing to prove me right.
*this article was originally submitted to a local paper a couple of weeks ago but was never published
Blood from a Stone
You’ve got to hand it to the current Cook County administration. While wrangling was no doubt being done last week to facilitate the confirmation of the friends and relatives to high ranking government positions, the non union personnel of Cook County were being informed that they were required to take 10 furlough days (10 days off without pay) before the end of fiscal year, many of which who don’t even make a half or even a third of what these officials will be making.
According to an article in the Chicago Tribune on May 3, Jerry Butler stated that the controversy surrounding these approvals is “about some folks who would do anything to bring down this administration” . Isn’t this administration doing enough to bring itself down?
I personally have been given a ‘pink slip’, had it rescinded, and am patiently waiting being informed as to when I will be permanently let go. This administration is in the process of removing patients, the innocent victims in this ploy, from the only home they have known, some for as much as twenty years. They are laying off employees on a weekly basis. They haven’t given non-union personnel raises in over three years, and they want us to take two weeks off without pay? Yes, it’s definitely someone else trying to bring this administration down.
Donna Dunnings said she would not take a pay increase because of the difficult financial situation being faced by the county right now. I guess $10,000 a year is no big shakes to someone already making $142,000. Well kudos to her! Perhaps we should give her a medal for not taking a pay raise while the administration is kicking patients out of their homes and destroying the lives of many loyal employees or perhaps we should just, to quote Ms. Dunnings, “get a life”.
Those who confirmed her selection to the post of chief financial officer must have forgotten that she has been in a position for the last eight years to make a difference in this difficult financial situation. The county is in dire circumstances due to the mismanagement of finances, and now she’s being rewarded. In the meantime, and as it always is, it’s the little guy, the folks that really make the county what it is, that are paying the price. It’s even being implied that if these folks don’t use up all of their furlough days by the time they are dismissed that they will be docked the remaining days on their final paycheck.
Well, and I know I don’t speak for all of us getting the eventual boot, I’m relatively certain that we’ve had enough of this mess we’ll be facing for three more years, not to mention the cleanup that will take place after they’re defeated in the next election. I’ve accepted the fact that my days here, after nearly 18 years, are numbered which at this point is fine because I’m not so sure that I want to be a part of something that has become so willing to deny basic services to those who facilitate its existence. I’ve resolved myself to the fact that young Mr. Stroger is going to do what young Mr. Stroger wants to do. I’ve even accepted the fact that politicians lie to get what they want and then, once they get it change the rules. I will not, however, willingly give any more blood to an administration that is sucking the life out of a system that is supposed to serve the residents rather than the administration. No offense to Mr. Stroger or Dr. Simon but ya know what boys, I already gave at the office.
special note--I've recently been told that a certain well-connected administrator at my current place of employment strongly disliked an article of mine that was published in a newspaper a few months back. Maybe it's because he's feeling guilty about being handed cushy triple figure jobs all of his life or maybe not. Whichever the case and since I don't have a silver spoon blocking the exit, as it were, there's plently of room for this to come out, "Too Freaking Bad!!"
*this article was originally submitted to a local paper a couple of weeks ago but was never published
Blood from a Stone
You’ve got to hand it to the current Cook County administration. While wrangling was no doubt being done last week to facilitate the confirmation of the friends and relatives to high ranking government positions, the non union personnel of Cook County were being informed that they were required to take 10 furlough days (10 days off without pay) before the end of fiscal year, many of which who don’t even make a half or even a third of what these officials will be making.
According to an article in the Chicago Tribune on May 3, Jerry Butler stated that the controversy surrounding these approvals is “about some folks who would do anything to bring down this administration” . Isn’t this administration doing enough to bring itself down?
I personally have been given a ‘pink slip’, had it rescinded, and am patiently waiting being informed as to when I will be permanently let go. This administration is in the process of removing patients, the innocent victims in this ploy, from the only home they have known, some for as much as twenty years. They are laying off employees on a weekly basis. They haven’t given non-union personnel raises in over three years, and they want us to take two weeks off without pay? Yes, it’s definitely someone else trying to bring this administration down.
Donna Dunnings said she would not take a pay increase because of the difficult financial situation being faced by the county right now. I guess $10,000 a year is no big shakes to someone already making $142,000. Well kudos to her! Perhaps we should give her a medal for not taking a pay raise while the administration is kicking patients out of their homes and destroying the lives of many loyal employees or perhaps we should just, to quote Ms. Dunnings, “get a life”.
Those who confirmed her selection to the post of chief financial officer must have forgotten that she has been in a position for the last eight years to make a difference in this difficult financial situation. The county is in dire circumstances due to the mismanagement of finances, and now she’s being rewarded. In the meantime, and as it always is, it’s the little guy, the folks that really make the county what it is, that are paying the price. It’s even being implied that if these folks don’t use up all of their furlough days by the time they are dismissed that they will be docked the remaining days on their final paycheck.
Well, and I know I don’t speak for all of us getting the eventual boot, I’m relatively certain that we’ve had enough of this mess we’ll be facing for three more years, not to mention the cleanup that will take place after they’re defeated in the next election. I’ve accepted the fact that my days here, after nearly 18 years, are numbered which at this point is fine because I’m not so sure that I want to be a part of something that has become so willing to deny basic services to those who facilitate its existence. I’ve resolved myself to the fact that young Mr. Stroger is going to do what young Mr. Stroger wants to do. I’ve even accepted the fact that politicians lie to get what they want and then, once they get it change the rules. I will not, however, willingly give any more blood to an administration that is sucking the life out of a system that is supposed to serve the residents rather than the administration. No offense to Mr. Stroger or Dr. Simon but ya know what boys, I already gave at the office.
special note--I've recently been told that a certain well-connected administrator at my current place of employment strongly disliked an article of mine that was published in a newspaper a few months back. Maybe it's because he's feeling guilty about being handed cushy triple figure jobs all of his life or maybe not. Whichever the case and since I don't have a silver spoon blocking the exit, as it were, there's plently of room for this to come out, "Too Freaking Bad!!"
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Ya Gotta Have Faith--Part Deux
Ya Gotta Have Faith—Part Two
These days people seem to use their faith more as a crutch than as a means of guidance. They look for hope in their futures and a way to reconcile their past, but there is still that essence of hypocrisy in many of the organized religions that exist today because their purpose has become to operate more as businesses than as bastions of solitude and reflection.
I’ve got my own God. He’s nameless. He believes in love, taking care of our kids and loving our spouses as if this is our last day to love them. My God doesn’t like us taking what isn’t ours, he doesn’t like us to hate anyone simply because of their color or race (he hates people based on their actions), and he likes us to relish our world and the beauty that surrounds us in it.
He doesn’t believe in taking advantage of those who come to serve him willingly and he doesn’t believe in, after taking advantage of those who have come to serve him willingly, asking parishioners for extra contributions to pay for a defense fund for those in power who have done just that. He doesn’t, as a matter of fact, believe in earmarking a certain amount of money for himself because he doesn’t deal in any secular, legal tender—as Bono said, “The God I believe in isn’t short on cash mister”.
He doesn’t mind me swearing-especially at asshole drivers. He likes rum and diet Pepsi with a lime. He likes that I adore beauty in everything from words to women because he knows that above all else I adore my wife and kids. He expects me to fuck up but he doesn’t like people that act like pricks all week and then go to church for one hour so they can feel as though they’ve repented even though they don’t really mean it. My God doesn’t condone any action that results in the pain, suffering or death of someone else. In essence, my God has one general rule—Don’t be a dick!!
My God wants us to give of ourselves because we want to and not because we feel we have to. He’s a part of me, he’s how I act, he’s how I love and he’s looking at me from the mirror every morning while I get ready for my day saying “Hello you magnificent bastard”. And, at the end of my day, my God likes me to be able to look at myself in the mirror and be able to say that I did the best I could even though I am fallible and prone to mistakes. My God is a helluva guy!!
Of course I could be wrong and one day the one true God could manifest him or her self in my chopped salad from Portillo’s and tell me that I’m going straight to freaking hell! Christ! I wonder how much I could get for that salad on eBay?
These days people seem to use their faith more as a crutch than as a means of guidance. They look for hope in their futures and a way to reconcile their past, but there is still that essence of hypocrisy in many of the organized religions that exist today because their purpose has become to operate more as businesses than as bastions of solitude and reflection.
I’ve got my own God. He’s nameless. He believes in love, taking care of our kids and loving our spouses as if this is our last day to love them. My God doesn’t like us taking what isn’t ours, he doesn’t like us to hate anyone simply because of their color or race (he hates people based on their actions), and he likes us to relish our world and the beauty that surrounds us in it.
He doesn’t believe in taking advantage of those who come to serve him willingly and he doesn’t believe in, after taking advantage of those who have come to serve him willingly, asking parishioners for extra contributions to pay for a defense fund for those in power who have done just that. He doesn’t, as a matter of fact, believe in earmarking a certain amount of money for himself because he doesn’t deal in any secular, legal tender—as Bono said, “The God I believe in isn’t short on cash mister”.
He doesn’t mind me swearing-especially at asshole drivers. He likes rum and diet Pepsi with a lime. He likes that I adore beauty in everything from words to women because he knows that above all else I adore my wife and kids. He expects me to fuck up but he doesn’t like people that act like pricks all week and then go to church for one hour so they can feel as though they’ve repented even though they don’t really mean it. My God doesn’t condone any action that results in the pain, suffering or death of someone else. In essence, my God has one general rule—Don’t be a dick!!
My God wants us to give of ourselves because we want to and not because we feel we have to. He’s a part of me, he’s how I act, he’s how I love and he’s looking at me from the mirror every morning while I get ready for my day saying “Hello you magnificent bastard”. And, at the end of my day, my God likes me to be able to look at myself in the mirror and be able to say that I did the best I could even though I am fallible and prone to mistakes. My God is a helluva guy!!
Of course I could be wrong and one day the one true God could manifest him or her self in my chopped salad from Portillo’s and tell me that I’m going straight to freaking hell! Christ! I wonder how much I could get for that salad on eBay?
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Ya Gotta Have Faith-Part One
He’s back. He’s rested. He’s ready to attack more of the seemingly innocent. Innocence is really more a perspective nowadays anyway, isn’t it?
Ya Gotta Have Faith—Part One
(I’ve been told I tend to be verbose, so this one’s in two parts)
To clarify—my dumb ass of the week did not qualify based on her finding the Virgin Mary in her grilled cheese sandwich, she qualified for tattooing her grilled cheese sandwich on her chest. ‘Cause lets face it, people are going to see what they want to see, even if it may not make any sense to the rest of us.
People have been finding ‘signs’ to support their faith for hundreds of years. Whether it is the shroud of Turin or a grilled cheese sandwich, our individual gods have been finding a way to manifest themselves in our worlds to appease our question of their existence. Faith is a strong thing. We all have faith in something; it’s just that some of us are a little misdirected in exactly what we should do with it.
I’ve heard countless numbers of the faithful preaching at work, mostly Christians, about what their gods want them to do while they are in essence nothing more than misguided hypocrites. They incessantly quote the Bible regarding how one is supposed to live their lives while they cheat on their wives, steal from their employer and hate with the relish one usually saves for those times when one stomps a cockroach. I have a different view, big surprise, at just exactly what faith has evolved into these days.
People have an inherent need to explain things. Oh, they say they don’t, they say that they accept things as they are but deep down inside they have a need to qualify the things that have happened to them—call it our intrinsic need for logic. A child dies, a horrible natural disaster occurs and people like to call it “God’s will”. If an athlete makes a touchdown or hits a home run, they thank God, like God doesn’t have anything better to do that day than make sure that Sammy Sosa hits a fucking home run, especially after he allegedly beat his wife the night before.
We have some bizarre need to explain things rather than just accepting things as they are. At funerals people will tell you it was God’s will or God’s way of testing us because it couldn’t possibly be that our 102 year-old grandmother died because she was, well, 102 years-old. People wear their faith like armor and use it to deflect those things that happen each and every day in the worlds they’ve created for themselves. They bury themselves in it when things don’t turn out the way they wanted, they praise it when they do, and when there seems there is no explanation they create justifications in the name of their faith.
You see these folks on the news all the time, “God is testing me”, “It was God’s will”, “God decided to call him/her home”. One question---which God, which home? (I guess that’s two questions) When the terrorists flew their planes into the twin towers, they did so in the name of Allah, does that make it right? Holy wars have been raging in the Middle East since Jesus left his sandals in the middle of the desert. All in the name of their own personal Jesus, perhaps Allah appeared in their hummus (as Allah often does).
We go to work, we play, we raise families and tragedies occur daily. Hitler’s god didn’t like Jews, the Al Qaida’s god doesn’t like Americans, and Al Sharpton’s god doesn’t seem to like anyone that Al Sharpton doesn't like. So which god is which?
With this many gods, how can one be sure they’ve chosen the right one and how can one be sure that one is acting on this divine individual’s will? Well, we’re told we gotta have faith; faith that God will show us the way, faith that God loves us, faith that God had a reason for allowing a deranged psychopath to go crazy at Virginia Tech—to wit: What possible fucking reason could God have had for that??? One thing is for sure; if there is only one true God a lot of us are going to be pissed off when they realize that they should have been Zen Buddhists all of their lives.
**Tune in tomorrow for part deux before you tear me a new one!
Ya Gotta Have Faith—Part One
(I’ve been told I tend to be verbose, so this one’s in two parts)
To clarify—my dumb ass of the week did not qualify based on her finding the Virgin Mary in her grilled cheese sandwich, she qualified for tattooing her grilled cheese sandwich on her chest. ‘Cause lets face it, people are going to see what they want to see, even if it may not make any sense to the rest of us.
People have been finding ‘signs’ to support their faith for hundreds of years. Whether it is the shroud of Turin or a grilled cheese sandwich, our individual gods have been finding a way to manifest themselves in our worlds to appease our question of their existence. Faith is a strong thing. We all have faith in something; it’s just that some of us are a little misdirected in exactly what we should do with it.
I’ve heard countless numbers of the faithful preaching at work, mostly Christians, about what their gods want them to do while they are in essence nothing more than misguided hypocrites. They incessantly quote the Bible regarding how one is supposed to live their lives while they cheat on their wives, steal from their employer and hate with the relish one usually saves for those times when one stomps a cockroach. I have a different view, big surprise, at just exactly what faith has evolved into these days.
People have an inherent need to explain things. Oh, they say they don’t, they say that they accept things as they are but deep down inside they have a need to qualify the things that have happened to them—call it our intrinsic need for logic. A child dies, a horrible natural disaster occurs and people like to call it “God’s will”. If an athlete makes a touchdown or hits a home run, they thank God, like God doesn’t have anything better to do that day than make sure that Sammy Sosa hits a fucking home run, especially after he allegedly beat his wife the night before.
We have some bizarre need to explain things rather than just accepting things as they are. At funerals people will tell you it was God’s will or God’s way of testing us because it couldn’t possibly be that our 102 year-old grandmother died because she was, well, 102 years-old. People wear their faith like armor and use it to deflect those things that happen each and every day in the worlds they’ve created for themselves. They bury themselves in it when things don’t turn out the way they wanted, they praise it when they do, and when there seems there is no explanation they create justifications in the name of their faith.
You see these folks on the news all the time, “God is testing me”, “It was God’s will”, “God decided to call him/her home”. One question---which God, which home? (I guess that’s two questions) When the terrorists flew their planes into the twin towers, they did so in the name of Allah, does that make it right? Holy wars have been raging in the Middle East since Jesus left his sandals in the middle of the desert. All in the name of their own personal Jesus, perhaps Allah appeared in their hummus (as Allah often does).
We go to work, we play, we raise families and tragedies occur daily. Hitler’s god didn’t like Jews, the Al Qaida’s god doesn’t like Americans, and Al Sharpton’s god doesn’t seem to like anyone that Al Sharpton doesn't like. So which god is which?
With this many gods, how can one be sure they’ve chosen the right one and how can one be sure that one is acting on this divine individual’s will? Well, we’re told we gotta have faith; faith that God will show us the way, faith that God loves us, faith that God had a reason for allowing a deranged psychopath to go crazy at Virginia Tech—to wit: What possible fucking reason could God have had for that??? One thing is for sure; if there is only one true God a lot of us are going to be pissed off when they realize that they should have been Zen Buddhists all of their lives.
**Tune in tomorrow for part deux before you tear me a new one!
Weekly Review
Weekly Review-5/6 through 5/12
Sun . . . the 'Donger' needs rest
Mon . . . If someone ever successfully bred a pig and a goose a lot of shit would
happen (think about it)
Tues . . . what necessitated the invention of straws?
Weds . . . Santa, Satan . . . hmmmmmm
Thurs . . . oddly enough I haven't had a random thought at all today so in lieu of
that---Happy Birthday Bono!!
Fri . . . people who don't use their turn signals suck
Sun . . . the 'Donger' needs rest
Mon . . . If someone ever successfully bred a pig and a goose a lot of shit would
happen (think about it)
Tues . . . what necessitated the invention of straws?
Weds . . . Santa, Satan . . . hmmmmmm
Thurs . . . oddly enough I haven't had a random thought at all today so in lieu of
that---Happy Birthday Bono!!
Fri . . . people who don't use their turn signals suck
Friday, May 11, 2007
abandonment of my post
I will be loa for a couple of days so talk amongst yourselves. It's not like you're talking to me anyway . . .
But whilst I am absent consider this, it's lonely in here without anyone to talk with. While I am sure that it is intimidating to consider the possible outcome of engaging my scathing wit and incandescent charm, please . . . engage. I will be happy to acquiesce to your greater ability to sling the hash, if I have been bested.
The whole purpose here is to engage in some kind of meaningful banter that will, if nothing else, attempt to open either mind in some fashion at the very least. And if you are bested then I will smile and wave as you walk dejectedly into the sunset with your tail between your legs (but I will at least think about what you said)
So I will be back next week. In the meantime--Happy mother's Day to all you mothers!! And since I haven't cursed in my post today, I will just add a little
f--k, because well everyone needs a little f--k now and again!!
Cheers to you Moms!!
But whilst I am absent consider this, it's lonely in here without anyone to talk with. While I am sure that it is intimidating to consider the possible outcome of engaging my scathing wit and incandescent charm, please . . . engage. I will be happy to acquiesce to your greater ability to sling the hash, if I have been bested.
The whole purpose here is to engage in some kind of meaningful banter that will, if nothing else, attempt to open either mind in some fashion at the very least. And if you are bested then I will smile and wave as you walk dejectedly into the sunset with your tail between your legs (but I will at least think about what you said)
So I will be back next week. In the meantime--Happy mother's Day to all you mothers!! And since I haven't cursed in my post today, I will just add a little
f--k, because well everyone needs a little f--k now and again!!
Cheers to you Moms!!
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
I Used to Love This Game
I Love This Game!
How frustrating must it be for a parent who was an adequate, at best, athlete in their own glory days to watch their own children playing the sport that they themselves held high aspirations for. It must be somewhat troubling for them to have to live vicariously even though that child may not have any similar aspirations, let alone any drive to even want to play the game.
A friend of mine who is a fifth grade teacher was telling me about her day last week. It had started out especially rough for her when one of her students was in near hysterics at the beginning of the day. It seems that he’d given up 5 runs in his game the previous evening and the coach ended up telling him that he was cutting him from the team and furthermore that he’d never play baseball again if he (the coach) had anything to do with it. Now I don’t know which is worse—that this piece of shit is coaching fifth graders or that this piece of shit is the kid’s father (and when I say piece of shit, I mean it as sincerely as possible). To make matters worse when my friend called the boy’s mother to inform her of the problem, the mother simply replied, “Oh, he’s still upset about that?”
It’s completely normal to want our kids to succeed. It’s probably even normal for parents to wish for our kids to achieve greatness in their lives. The anomaly, however, occurs when a parent’s own frustration with their own obscurity is transferred to the extent that a parent drives their children with the intensity of a wolverine on crack and a double shot of espresso.
As a society we’re arguably as responsible as some of the parents here. We worship athletes with a reverence usually reserved for our Gods, pay them more than corporate CEOs and allow them to act like spoiled, insecure little divas—and we don’t have a problem with that. Sure, we get a little upset when they have their run-ins with the law. But even then we don’t care as long as they’re allowed to play for our teams before they accept their punishment.
I have a son who has a basic talent for the game of futbol, and there have been times when I have been just as guilty at the sort of behavior usually reserved for a rabid dog in August. Luckily for me, however, I have a wife that’s not afraid to let me know when I’m acting like an asshole. I realize as I’m writing this that I’m addressing myself as well.
Sports are games kids, and as such deserve the kind of behavior one generally exhibits when playing a marathon session of monopoly. Yes, it’s okay to get frustrated but remember, there are times when even the $100 million man doesn’t get a hit. Our own frustration shouldn’t be transferred to our kids, ‘cause you know what . . . to them it’s still a game, not a career choice, and games are supposed to be fun.
When it all comes down to, it’s not the leisurely catch in the back yard they’re gonna remember when they get older. It’s you acting like an asshole when they lose the big game or don’t perform at the level expected. Most kids, when asked, will say that the strongest person they know is their father or that their heroes are their parents—be that! If not, sooner or later they’ll forget when the game was fun and end up frustrated adults who engage in fisticuffs over a pastime that can, and should, be a beautiful part of their past, present, or perhaps their future, if that’s the road they choose to follow and not the one that you’re trying to pave for them.
Note: Because he far exceeds the necessary requirements, the coach/father noted in today’s entry wins the Extra Special/Suplemental dumb ass of the day award for far exceeding the usual dumb ass standards!! Congratulations Dumb Ass!!
How frustrating must it be for a parent who was an adequate, at best, athlete in their own glory days to watch their own children playing the sport that they themselves held high aspirations for. It must be somewhat troubling for them to have to live vicariously even though that child may not have any similar aspirations, let alone any drive to even want to play the game.
A friend of mine who is a fifth grade teacher was telling me about her day last week. It had started out especially rough for her when one of her students was in near hysterics at the beginning of the day. It seems that he’d given up 5 runs in his game the previous evening and the coach ended up telling him that he was cutting him from the team and furthermore that he’d never play baseball again if he (the coach) had anything to do with it. Now I don’t know which is worse—that this piece of shit is coaching fifth graders or that this piece of shit is the kid’s father (and when I say piece of shit, I mean it as sincerely as possible). To make matters worse when my friend called the boy’s mother to inform her of the problem, the mother simply replied, “Oh, he’s still upset about that?”
It’s completely normal to want our kids to succeed. It’s probably even normal for parents to wish for our kids to achieve greatness in their lives. The anomaly, however, occurs when a parent’s own frustration with their own obscurity is transferred to the extent that a parent drives their children with the intensity of a wolverine on crack and a double shot of espresso.
As a society we’re arguably as responsible as some of the parents here. We worship athletes with a reverence usually reserved for our Gods, pay them more than corporate CEOs and allow them to act like spoiled, insecure little divas—and we don’t have a problem with that. Sure, we get a little upset when they have their run-ins with the law. But even then we don’t care as long as they’re allowed to play for our teams before they accept their punishment.
I have a son who has a basic talent for the game of futbol, and there have been times when I have been just as guilty at the sort of behavior usually reserved for a rabid dog in August. Luckily for me, however, I have a wife that’s not afraid to let me know when I’m acting like an asshole. I realize as I’m writing this that I’m addressing myself as well.
Sports are games kids, and as such deserve the kind of behavior one generally exhibits when playing a marathon session of monopoly. Yes, it’s okay to get frustrated but remember, there are times when even the $100 million man doesn’t get a hit. Our own frustration shouldn’t be transferred to our kids, ‘cause you know what . . . to them it’s still a game, not a career choice, and games are supposed to be fun.
When it all comes down to, it’s not the leisurely catch in the back yard they’re gonna remember when they get older. It’s you acting like an asshole when they lose the big game or don’t perform at the level expected. Most kids, when asked, will say that the strongest person they know is their father or that their heroes are their parents—be that! If not, sooner or later they’ll forget when the game was fun and end up frustrated adults who engage in fisticuffs over a pastime that can, and should, be a beautiful part of their past, present, or perhaps their future, if that’s the road they choose to follow and not the one that you’re trying to pave for them.
Note: Because he far exceeds the necessary requirements, the coach/father noted in today’s entry wins the Extra Special/Suplemental dumb ass of the day award for far exceeding the usual dumb ass standards!! Congratulations Dumb Ass!!
Monday, May 7, 2007
Speak Softly and Carry a Kind Word
note--a dissenting view gives creedence to a healthy discourse and healthy discourse facilitates compromise--don't be afraid to comment kids, whether you agree or not. My mind is open so don't be afraid to come in and scramble it a bit!!
Speak Softly and Carry a Kind Word
“Got a gun, fact I got two. That's ok man, 'cause I love God”
-Pearl Jam
Guns don’t kill people, psychotic individuals with the proverbial screw loose kill people. Don’t believe me . . . try this.
With no one else around, take a loaded gun. If you don’t have one borrow one, surely someone you know has one. Anyway, take the loaded gun and set it on your coffee table. Now pour yourself a drink, fire up the corn cob, whatever tickles your fancy, turn on some Metallica or AC/DC or some kind of heavy metal, because heavy metal is the devil’s music kids, put a copy of The Matrix in the old DVD player and then sit directly across from the gun. Now, just wait . . . and wait . . . and wait . . .
No shit, you could sit there for hours and the goddamn thing won’t fire on you, seriously, it’s really weird! Now if the cat comes and jumps on the table while you’re sitting there, all bets are off and you’re probably f---ed cause no one else is around to save you. As hard as it may be for some people to see though, the gun will not have been responsible.
Now I’m no proponent of arming ourselves to the gills, as a matter of fact I run from guns like a co-ed running from a bunch of drunk rugby players, no offense to drunk rugby players. But it is a choice, like should I get Wonder Bread or Butternut? 4 out of 5 anti-gun zealots prefer Butternut (based on an unscientific study). Again, it is a choice, and a choice guaranteed us by our Constitution. What I am saying is that existing legislation doesn’t even begin to address the unstable environment we have created for ourselves to live in.
We have desensitized ourselves to violence to the extent that we are completely unfazed when an innocent child is gunned down by unintentional crossfire. I mean Geez, I’m surprised that the sensationalistic broadcasts haven’t begun playing Another One Bites the Dust in the background as that inevitable portion of the nightly ‘News’ airs. We’ve created psychobabble to explain away the reasons that these nut sacks end up taking 3 or 5 or 10 others with them when they decide to cash it all in because for some reason we just have a hard time accepting that they were f--ked up! It would seem we feel better if we have a relevant explanation for their behavior.
So, when Cho Seung Hui went into the gun shop to buy his first gun, the red flags should have been flying as prominently as Britney Spears’ crotch in a paparazzi photo, let alone when he went to get his second. The time has come that those for and those against guns reach a compromise. I’m not trying to disarm those for, nor am I trying to arm those who are against. I am saying is that there needs to be some way to alarm authorities to possible threats. What does a 23-year-old English major really need with a handgun? Is the undergrad coursework on Shakespeare at Virginia Tech really that stressful?
Truth be told, ambiguous legislation needs to be a tad more qualified because these crazy bastards out there are going to continue to arm themselves thereby necessitating citizens arming themselves. And overzealous gun mongers who are ready to shoot the left arm off their daughter’s Teddy Ruxpin if that freaky little f--ker looks at them that way again will continue to have an argument as long as this is the case.
As this isn’t the first time, and most likely (and sadly) not going to be the last time an event like the one that happened at Virginia Tech will occur, everybody should be willing to give a little to ensure that we’ve done everything, and I mean everything, to prevent another tragedy. Think about this kids, what if next time it occurs at your kids’ school and one of your own gets caught in the crosshairs by an idiot with an agenda. What then?
Teddy Roosevelt once said that one should “Speak softly and carry a big stick”. Al Capone reiterated this sentiment by inferring that “You can get a lot farther with a kind word and a gun than a kind word alone”. It would seem that as a society we have taken these statements to heart. The problem is that if we keep walking around, swinging our shafts then we’re kind of asking to be challenged. Is that a challenge you want your kids to face?
Speak Softly and Carry a Kind Word
“Got a gun, fact I got two. That's ok man, 'cause I love God”
-Pearl Jam
Guns don’t kill people, psychotic individuals with the proverbial screw loose kill people. Don’t believe me . . . try this.
With no one else around, take a loaded gun. If you don’t have one borrow one, surely someone you know has one. Anyway, take the loaded gun and set it on your coffee table. Now pour yourself a drink, fire up the corn cob, whatever tickles your fancy, turn on some Metallica or AC/DC or some kind of heavy metal, because heavy metal is the devil’s music kids, put a copy of The Matrix in the old DVD player and then sit directly across from the gun. Now, just wait . . . and wait . . . and wait . . .
No shit, you could sit there for hours and the goddamn thing won’t fire on you, seriously, it’s really weird! Now if the cat comes and jumps on the table while you’re sitting there, all bets are off and you’re probably f---ed cause no one else is around to save you. As hard as it may be for some people to see though, the gun will not have been responsible.
Now I’m no proponent of arming ourselves to the gills, as a matter of fact I run from guns like a co-ed running from a bunch of drunk rugby players, no offense to drunk rugby players. But it is a choice, like should I get Wonder Bread or Butternut? 4 out of 5 anti-gun zealots prefer Butternut (based on an unscientific study). Again, it is a choice, and a choice guaranteed us by our Constitution. What I am saying is that existing legislation doesn’t even begin to address the unstable environment we have created for ourselves to live in.
We have desensitized ourselves to violence to the extent that we are completely unfazed when an innocent child is gunned down by unintentional crossfire. I mean Geez, I’m surprised that the sensationalistic broadcasts haven’t begun playing Another One Bites the Dust in the background as that inevitable portion of the nightly ‘News’ airs. We’ve created psychobabble to explain away the reasons that these nut sacks end up taking 3 or 5 or 10 others with them when they decide to cash it all in because for some reason we just have a hard time accepting that they were f--ked up! It would seem we feel better if we have a relevant explanation for their behavior.
So, when Cho Seung Hui went into the gun shop to buy his first gun, the red flags should have been flying as prominently as Britney Spears’ crotch in a paparazzi photo, let alone when he went to get his second. The time has come that those for and those against guns reach a compromise. I’m not trying to disarm those for, nor am I trying to arm those who are against. I am saying is that there needs to be some way to alarm authorities to possible threats. What does a 23-year-old English major really need with a handgun? Is the undergrad coursework on Shakespeare at Virginia Tech really that stressful?
Truth be told, ambiguous legislation needs to be a tad more qualified because these crazy bastards out there are going to continue to arm themselves thereby necessitating citizens arming themselves. And overzealous gun mongers who are ready to shoot the left arm off their daughter’s Teddy Ruxpin if that freaky little f--ker looks at them that way again will continue to have an argument as long as this is the case.
As this isn’t the first time, and most likely (and sadly) not going to be the last time an event like the one that happened at Virginia Tech will occur, everybody should be willing to give a little to ensure that we’ve done everything, and I mean everything, to prevent another tragedy. Think about this kids, what if next time it occurs at your kids’ school and one of your own gets caught in the crosshairs by an idiot with an agenda. What then?
Teddy Roosevelt once said that one should “Speak softly and carry a big stick”. Al Capone reiterated this sentiment by inferring that “You can get a lot farther with a kind word and a gun than a kind word alone”. It would seem that as a society we have taken these statements to heart. The problem is that if we keep walking around, swinging our shafts then we’re kind of asking to be challenged. Is that a challenge you want your kids to face?
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Happy A--holes : )
*Disclaimer for last Blog entry—just in case I offended any of the hardworking immigrants who have come to this country along legitimate channels, sorry, you’re not included in my little tirade. That was reserved for those who cross a river, or sneak over a bridge, or wash up on the coast and then get false documents, work here, and send most of their money home with no intention of ever becoming a productive member of the United States. And then, they bitch about our sending, or wanting to send them back. F. U. to those folks!
Secondly, HA! to whatever idiot wanted to make it so that Cook County would have no right to question the legal rights of immigrants to work within our system, isn’t it hard enough for those of us who do? So F.U. to those persons!
And now, on with the show!! Hello my faithful reader(s). I intended to go in another direction today but the wonderful administration at my current place of employment have necessitated a segue into another area. I’ll return to bitchin’ about other topics later this week, in the meantime . . .
Happy A--holes
Completely simulated conversation between Todd Stroger and some of his staff:
“Dr. Simon? Hi Bob! Listen, I was thinking, it’s been like 12 hours since we bent over some of our employees for a real f---in’. What can we do about that?”
“What’s that you say, let’s demand that all of our managers who haven’t gotten a raise in over three years to take 10 days off without pay under the guise of saving their jobs, many of which we have already cut from the budget? Well goddamn Bob, that’s the best one yet!!”
“Thanks Bob, you’ve really outdone yourself this time! You’d better get busy if you’re gonna top that one! And, Bob . . . thanks, no one screws over our employees, residents, and taxpayers like you, except maybe me, ha, ha, ha. You’re doing a great job!”
Ring-Ring-Ring-phone rings(duh)
“Hi Andre (Garner, press relations for President Stroger-doesn’t talk to media). Listen, I was just talking to Bob Simon and we decided to screw over middle management again. Yeah, it is funny isn't it?”
“No, you don’t have to talk to the media about it, why in the hell would a PR person talk to the media?!”
“Of course you can continue to collect your $86,000 a year without ever speaking to the media.”
“I don’t have to explain myself! Listen, I don’t have to explain myself to the commissioners or the taxpayers or the media or the employees. I’m the President dammit!”
“By the way, you’re doing a great job!”
“No, I know you don’t really do anything but you’re doing a great job anyway!”
For those of you who are unfamiliar with my previous work, and even for those of you who are, here’s a recap as to the state of middle management at my current place of employment, or within the Cook County Health Services division:
In February, I got a pink slip. I haven’t received a raise in over three years, none of us in county management have—except for the commissioners, the president, the interim president and many of the unqualified individuals that have been able to take advantage of the questionable scruples of the current administration. My pink slip was rescinded. Many have been laid off while Toddy continues to hire more unnecessary people who are not required to actually do anything. The budget has been passed but a qualified version of said budget is yet to be made available to the taxpayers, also known as those who pay for the budget. Many more have been laid off or terminated. An alleged 11 to 13 million dollars is being spent to tuck-point the brick at my place of employment, even thought 60 to 70 percent of the space is being unused and they’re trying to end long term care. A pseudo-budget is on one of the County websites indicating that my position, among many others, is no longer going to be necessary. And now, they want me, that’s right, me, to take 2 weeks off without pay.
Here’s a cryptic message to said administration, if you can’t figure it out perhaps you can have some of your PR people try it, it’s not like they have anything else to do. Anyway, here’s my response to your ‘request’ for me to take 10 days unpaid even though you’ve already discontinued my position:
11-9-19-19/ 13-25/ 1-19-19
Have a ball, and hey, I mean it sincerely!
I’ll tell you what kids, I could go on and on about the madness of King Todd here but I will just suffice it to say that in my world assholes are wiped clean, not left to sit happy in their own shit. And ya know what else boys, girls, and others; those responsible for this administration are a bunch of happy assholes. It’s time to appeal to the parents in this dysfunctional little family, or the taxpayers, to step in with some flushable wipes ‘cause it’s starting to f--king stink around here!!
P.S. Kudos to Stroger for getting his cousin confirmed as the County's chief financial officer!! Since she was in a position to actually do something about the f---ed up financial state of the county for the last 8 years, this can only mean that we have three and a half more years of stellar performance to look forward to!!
Secondly, HA! to whatever idiot wanted to make it so that Cook County would have no right to question the legal rights of immigrants to work within our system, isn’t it hard enough for those of us who do? So F.U. to those persons!
And now, on with the show!! Hello my faithful reader(s). I intended to go in another direction today but the wonderful administration at my current place of employment have necessitated a segue into another area. I’ll return to bitchin’ about other topics later this week, in the meantime . . .
Happy A--holes
Completely simulated conversation between Todd Stroger and some of his staff:
“Dr. Simon? Hi Bob! Listen, I was thinking, it’s been like 12 hours since we bent over some of our employees for a real f---in’. What can we do about that?”
“What’s that you say, let’s demand that all of our managers who haven’t gotten a raise in over three years to take 10 days off without pay under the guise of saving their jobs, many of which we have already cut from the budget? Well goddamn Bob, that’s the best one yet!!”
“Thanks Bob, you’ve really outdone yourself this time! You’d better get busy if you’re gonna top that one! And, Bob . . . thanks, no one screws over our employees, residents, and taxpayers like you, except maybe me, ha, ha, ha. You’re doing a great job!”
Ring-Ring-Ring-phone rings(duh)
“Hi Andre (Garner, press relations for President Stroger-doesn’t talk to media). Listen, I was just talking to Bob Simon and we decided to screw over middle management again. Yeah, it is funny isn't it?”
“No, you don’t have to talk to the media about it, why in the hell would a PR person talk to the media?!”
“Of course you can continue to collect your $86,000 a year without ever speaking to the media.”
“I don’t have to explain myself! Listen, I don’t have to explain myself to the commissioners or the taxpayers or the media or the employees. I’m the President dammit!”
“By the way, you’re doing a great job!”
“No, I know you don’t really do anything but you’re doing a great job anyway!”
For those of you who are unfamiliar with my previous work, and even for those of you who are, here’s a recap as to the state of middle management at my current place of employment, or within the Cook County Health Services division:
In February, I got a pink slip. I haven’t received a raise in over three years, none of us in county management have—except for the commissioners, the president, the interim president and many of the unqualified individuals that have been able to take advantage of the questionable scruples of the current administration. My pink slip was rescinded. Many have been laid off while Toddy continues to hire more unnecessary people who are not required to actually do anything. The budget has been passed but a qualified version of said budget is yet to be made available to the taxpayers, also known as those who pay for the budget. Many more have been laid off or terminated. An alleged 11 to 13 million dollars is being spent to tuck-point the brick at my place of employment, even thought 60 to 70 percent of the space is being unused and they’re trying to end long term care. A pseudo-budget is on one of the County websites indicating that my position, among many others, is no longer going to be necessary. And now, they want me, that’s right, me, to take 2 weeks off without pay.
Here’s a cryptic message to said administration, if you can’t figure it out perhaps you can have some of your PR people try it, it’s not like they have anything else to do. Anyway, here’s my response to your ‘request’ for me to take 10 days unpaid even though you’ve already discontinued my position:
11-9-19-19/ 13-25/ 1-19-19
Have a ball, and hey, I mean it sincerely!
I’ll tell you what kids, I could go on and on about the madness of King Todd here but I will just suffice it to say that in my world assholes are wiped clean, not left to sit happy in their own shit. And ya know what else boys, girls, and others; those responsible for this administration are a bunch of happy assholes. It’s time to appeal to the parents in this dysfunctional little family, or the taxpayers, to step in with some flushable wipes ‘cause it’s starting to f--king stink around here!!
P.S. Kudos to Stroger for getting his cousin confirmed as the County's chief financial officer!! Since she was in a position to actually do something about the f---ed up financial state of the county for the last 8 years, this can only mean that we have three and a half more years of stellar performance to look forward to!!
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