Finally

Sorry faithful reader, lost track a bit and was sidelined for a few days. I meant to get right on it, but was feeling a bit under the weather so I decided to wait until I was at least 70 % until I began attacking people again. I'm almost there so let's begin with another week of attacking those whose very existence warrants being chastised. Time to take a deliberate skew on some of those hot button issues that I'm certain will warrant a healthy and heated discussion, so away we go . . .

La Migra

It seems the issue of immigration is again pushing itself to the forefront. With a rally scheduled in Daley Plaza in Chicago on May 1, immigrants are demanding reform. First off, let’s clarify. When I speak of illegal immigrants, I am including all illegal immigrants—Polish, Irish, Middle Eastern, Indian (from India), Hispanic, et.al.

The headline on Sunday’s Chicago Tribune read Raids stoke immigration ire. And why shouldn’t they. It’s bad enough that we should expect those crossing our borders to register and apply for visas along legal channels, but then we raid businesses looking for these folks and deport them—well, that’s just plain mean. Its not like we have laws outlining procedures for entering this country, is it? Those evil bastards over and the Immigration service are just so cold hearted. I have seen the enemy and the enemy is La Migra.

The story in the Trib went on to explain how these raids are breaking up families, and infringing upon the civil rights of these folks. But, I digress, ya see in my world things work a little different. In my world the civil liberties of U.S. citizens are one of those things that are reserved for—I don’t know—U.S. CITIZENS!!

I’m sorry that families are being broken apart, sincerely I am, and that these folks’ unalienable stab at the American Dream are being taken from them, but no one, as far as I know, directed them to cross the borders illegally. It takes our understaffed immigration officials years to catch up with them and by that point they have had several children and established roots on our shores. The children are of course naturalized, and then we’re the a--holes for sending the undocumented parents back—is that about right? Maybe I’m crazy, but when a pregnant mother crosses the border into the United States FOR THE PURPOSE OF GIVING BIRTH, isn’t that an infringement of OUR RIGHTS as U.S. citizens? We don’t have national health care but our tax dollars pay for THEIR medical expenses and then we’re supposed to welcome them into the fold?

Now I’ll be the first to admit that some cheeky Americans feel that much of the work performed by these people is beneath them. Proud Americans feel that it’s an insult to expect them to perform manual labor at low pay and to work long hours with little recognition. That’s our fault kids. Many of these illegals do just that though. They not only work longer than us and at a lower wage, but they work harder, and goddamn it, we expect it. I mean GEEZ, they couldn’t possibly expect us to do it, have you seen A Day Without a Mexican, the freakin’ country would shut down! But we’ve made this bed of nails, time to lie down without bitchin’ about the holes in our backs.

Since young Fievel Mousekewitz immigrated here with his family from Russia, its been known worldwide that the streets here are paved with cheese, and we are merely those paying for said cheese. It would seem that we already go out of our way, we meaning the government, for documented immigrants. At my place of employment alone there are immigrants who own several houses, own businesses, or they have left their part-time jobs to open their own businesses. Last time I tried to open my own business there were so many roadblocks that it made it unfavorable for me to do so. But they get tax breaks, incentives, etc., because we need those incentives to go somewhere, why should those paying the taxes get them? When did the rules get changed? Its bottom of the ninth, I’m playing away, I’ve got bases loaded, a two run lead and all of a sudden I have to pitch underhand to a player that’s batting .750. It’s time to either take back our game or change f---ing leagues.

They’re here kids, and seemingly here to stay so we may as well get used to it, but I do have a question. When do I get my shot at the American Dream, I am after all American. Am I to suppose that the American Dream is reserved for those whose nationality is defined more by geography than inherence? Or maybe the time has come to hyphenate my nationality. Well ya know what, that’s not gonna happen.

I was born here so I’m not some kind of goddamn hyphenated American, I’M AN AMERICAN, and as such I should be entitled to have my tax dollars work for me and my fellow residents! After all, if I moved to a foreign country, I would be expected to assimilate. I would be expected to learn their language, their customs, their way of life. I would be expected to follow laws, abide by their tenets and adhere to their policies. If I was unwilling to do so, I would likely be asked to leaved, or probably be TOLD to leave, and you know what . . . I would expect it. They didn’t, after all, ask ME to move there.

Well, the phone lines are now open, so c’mon, kick my ass, I should be used to it by now, I've been having it kicked by my own rules for years.