Theatre of the Damned

You gotta love our leaders who continue to blow smoke up our asses about how fucking great the economy is while unemployment is up, fuel costs and everything else are up and home sales are at an anemic low. I recently joined the ranks of the unemployed for the second time in as many years, the theatre of the damned.

I am not so pretentious to speak for others but, we have strived for the American dream even though the American dreams is no longer something that belongs to Americans. We get a degree, marry, begin a family, purchase a home and find ourselves in the unemployment lines while immigrants continue to get so many breaks that they can come to our country, open several businesses, and all the while not even have to pay the taxes that provide our officials the capacity to served their own needs instead of the needs of the hard working men and women that are the reason this country is still the greatest despite their inadeqacies.

I have no ill will toward my former employer, it was a business decision and I would have done the same thing, although I probably would have done it prior to hiring me and filling my head with posibilities that would never come to fruition. So here I sit typing anxiously while worrying constantly about the home I just purchased, the life I've created with my wife and the future of my family.

At first I was somewhat relieved as I saw this coming for some months now. It seemed like it may be fun, having the summer off, floating in the pool, tanning and sipping pina coladas while I contemplated what direction I may head in the future. But after several weeks I am finding myself increasingly complacent about just where I can head.

About 3 years ago I decided to return to school to increase my earning potential. Since I was in grade school I've been told that a college degree is the most important thing towards realizing one's potential. What I have found is that companies are not all that excited about hiring someone in his early 40s who's decided to begin a new path in his journey.

I could stay in the industry that has supported me for the last 24 years but have seen that this is a young man's industry and that the fucks in charge have changed the rules over the past several years. No longer do they reward those who have the moxy to work full time and pursue a degree, no they have chosen to instead expect increasingly longer hours at an inconsequential wage for the time and effort their employees exude. And when these employees outlive their usefullness they swat them away like a gnat that is annoying them while they sip their pinot grigio at the country club.

So as the tone of this post seems quite maudlin, I assure you my readers that I have far too much to lose to roll over and die a peaceful death in this unfortunate marketplace. I will be the exception, I will cause heads to turn and I will overcome whatever obstacles that the government and big business(really the same thing aren't they?)may feel like throwing my way. And when all is said and done, I will be floating on my raft, sipping my pina colada and holding my middle finger up highly and proudly and finding a direction despite this disadvantage of being born an American.

Movin' Out!

Hi Kids. In case you were wondering what I was up to, well . . . I have moved out of the domain of King Urkel the lesser and into a more dignified and less ignorant county. Yes, that's right I am no longer a resident of the county of Cook and have moved my family into a domain about which I have no political knowledge and am no longer forced to be a fledgling to the developmentally challenged and underqualified son of the REAL Stroger.

We moved about a month and a half ago and so far its probably the best thing I could have ever done for myself and my family. Things are a lot more simple out here in the 'stix'. The streets roll up early, the kids still play on the street and the neighbors really care about each other. I have never felt so welcomed and so immediately accepted as a new addition to a community as I have since arriving.

We build fires at night, roast s'mores with the kids, and share stories with the neighbors on an almost nightly basis. Creativity is encouraged, and there is no immediate threat, that I know of, of a substandard idiot taking over the county board and handing out six figure salaries to his equally underqualified or previously incarcerated friends and family members. Whew, what a change.

As it it, however, a move is real pain in the ass. It's been over 10 years since my last move and shit!, I forgot how much stress is involved. To add fuel to proverbial fire, I recently lost my job as well. But given the fact that this time the loss was due to a business decision by my former employer and not to facilitate an increase in salary for an inept and may I say, ugly, relative of Stephen Urkel's clone.

All things considered, this time I was treated better and I am, although under the additional stress of an added mortgage payment and a new lifestyle, better equipped to deal with the loss. And so, for the summer, I will be blogging more regularly, more happily and whilst I bask in the sunlight, watch my kids in the pool and look for a new direction to my life that more suits my sarcastic and bombastic mind. So in the meantime, fuck you Cook County and good riddance!!

My License to Skew has been Reinstated

a deliberate skew

“welcome back my friends to the show that never ends”
-carnevil-elp

Where the fuck have you been?

Hi kids, and welcome back. As two or three of you may notice, most notably those of you who did not happen upon this site by accident, things have changed. I’ve been spending time putting together this site together, it seems I had a very minimal readership in the past and had no way of tracking just how many of you there were out there. I’ve been told as well that those of you who were my few and far between have been missing my acerbic wit and sarcastic banter, so I have decided to play on and do my best to increase the recommended daily allowance of polysyllabic expletives one can digest.

Since its my party here, I can say just about anything I want short of inciting citizens of a riotous uprising against their inept, elected officials for the purpose of bringing the power of government back to the people where it belongs. I may insert phrases and terms such as “motherfucker” or “rug munching megalomaniac” for emphasis, so if politically incorrect banter offends you please click here for a special message (get the fuck out you pansy, wuss). If not, welcome. We love your kind.

Truth be told that despite my inane, offensive lyrics I do have a heart somewhere buried deep beneath the abyssmal pit of sarcasm the encircles my soul. I believe that children are the future, that one person can make a difference and that we can save our planet if we send the message to everyone we know. I believe that government can be important and powerful and still serve the people that empower it. I believe that sex is the most profound of pleasures that remains free if you know where to look, and if you're married don't look too fuckin'far. I believe that true love can save a person’s life and that monogamy is still the best way to go. I believe in peace, love and understanding.

I believe that capital punishment is a truer deterrent than three square meals, an exercise room and a college degree. I believe that if your crime involves a child there is no punishment that can be imagined (and believe me, I’ve got a pretty fucking active imagination) that is too severe or too barbaric. I believe that illegal immigrants take their lives into their own hands when seeking to cross their border into the USA, and so we should be able to take their lives into our hands while trying to defend our border. I am that walking contradiction that Green Day sang about and I do not apologize.

So here I am, independent with a license to skew and skew is what I’m gonna be doing.
My opinion, my thoughts, my words, and my pissy attitude. And please feel free to add your thoughts and opinions, I do, after all, always need people to pick on. We will not be treating topics with kid gloves, we will not leave anyone out when choosing those to pick on, and we will not, and I repeat will NOT, be translating these musings into any other language than English [English is the official language of a deliberate skew and any of its subsidiary blogs].




* no trees were harmed in the creation or production of this blog. A deliberate skew is dedicated to a clean and green environment.